What is weighing us down?

What is weighing us down?

Ever stood in front of your clothes cupboard being at a loss for words, so too at a loss for clothes none of which are flattering? In an instant, you loathe the choices available but realize that not dressing is also NOT an option… Then you loathe yourself and realize you really need to figure out what is weighing you down?

Now CLEARLY, there is an internal [albeit silent] realization that what is weighing you down IS the extra weight sitting around your hips and all we can do is ask HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???  How DID this excess creep up so unnoticed over the years? Or did we notice it but decided to quietly look the other way? Now, of course, we are all grown-ass individuals and cannot possibly be naive enough to not realize the role we play in our choices and hence the outcome we were heading towards, but human nature prompts us to look for the reasoning behind the fat cells bloating EVERYWHERE else except within.  

This numbing space in life is also fondly referred to as a ‘COMFORT ZONE’ problem with this is that it is exactly the opposite of the truth… There is no comfort in this haze of self-pity and contemplation, it quietly leads to the break down of self-love and self-esteem, day by day, kilogram by kilogram. We truly turn a blind eye to the facts and then face our clothes cupboard daily until we find the strength and courage to drop the excuses and ‘find ourselves’ again [beware the ‘self-help’ gurus, it does start with us and generally ends there too].  

As we leave the question behind “How did this happen?”, we start facing the facts that SOMETHING needs to be done as soon as possible. Let us forget the questions and focus on the answer, right? Some people have the capacity to DO SOMETHING before it gets totally out of control. In my life as a wellness coach, I have crossed many paths with clients who WAIT… AND WAIT... until their deteriorating health starts ticking like a time bomb ready to bring their daily activities to a halt. Some wizened individuals pick up on the tick-tock timeously, preventing the bomb from exploding. This is a fact I have always pondered on, when is enough ENOUGH?  Why is it that some people are SO AWARE of their expanding girth whilst others, me included, got to the point of feeling like a wounded buffalo before taking on the much-required change?

As weight is gained, why do some people see it sooner than later?
As weight is gained, why do some people see it sooner than later?

Reflecting on my childhood, I thought it would be good to start with blaming my parents, [after all, the blame game is something easily played when you cannot understand or get to grips with your personal journey]. Honestly, they struggled with THEIR weight [and health] throughout life, surely that means I should struggle too. Then, their UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of myself and my brother REGARDLESS of our expanding size made us blissfully unaware of our greater than average size. In my office, many conversations later, as one client after another crossed my threshold on to my scale, I started realizing that those children who were brought up in homes KNOWING their weight, being scale aware (but not obsessive) were the ones that arrived at my door with a maximum of 10kgs to drop. And at 10kgs overweight, they were horrified at their size, horrified that they could let themselves get out of control to such an extent. Then there were the others, again, me included, who got to 40kgs on the hefty side and then realized, “oh my shattered nerves, I need to DO SOMETHING!!“. The ones that waited and waited thinking their genes are to blame or their sedentary office job was the reason and nothing could or would change. These are the people, like me, who cannot tell you what they weighed in their teenage years, also the people that were not counseled about the dangers of weight gain, whose parents did not want them to feel body aware… So here is the better question? Being body aware [yes there is a fine line to being obsessive] and keeping a check on your weight to ensure you live a healthy lifestyle to a ripe old age even if here and there you need to pull back the reigns and partake in a regulated diet to drop a dress size, or, those individuals that are oblivious of their Heffalump status based on their parents [yes, parents, including mine did so ONLY lovingly] assuring them that it is not about what you look like but your heart, the individuals who continue to obliviously pack on the kilos until they are red-faced and huffing in front of the doctor who is writing out a prescription for cholesterol tablets. This is where it gets even more interesting, personally, feeling well-loved and accepted as I was, I NEVER saw my size, even years into my then marriage, I was oblivious of my waistline, only the honesty of my then-husband of: “rather NOT!” when I squeezed myself into a bikini made me stop and realize I had a weight issue. Now, NEVER having to deal with such a personal realization resulted in me not knowing how to deal with it AT ALL!  Physically and emotionally I had taken a knock. I did not have the tools to deal with this ‘new space’ I found myself in, and like Eve when she bit into ‘that apple’ my world fell apart slowly but surely. That all-encompassing unconditional love I had felt from my parents now seemed a far cry away from facing the reality of what I was allowing my body to become. Now like Eve, I understood the wrongs and boy did I dig into myself emotionally. When I could not figure it out, it was after all the first time that I was facing such a dilemma, I started looking externally for the possible reasons for my weight gain in the first place, besides blaming the genes. I looked at my lack of physical activity, my poor food choices, my now ex-husband, my plate sizes, the fashion industry and their hand in poor self-esteem [I was far from the model size promoted in magazines and movies after all]. I attacked everything that could remotely have any hand to play in the game of life I was living. After going through diets, gaining weight back again, and starting diets over and over again [on a Monday of course], I shifted to the next stage of “what is weighing me down? -STILL“.

Clearly, if I was continuing to gain weight, drop weight and so on, clearly then I could not keep blaming my parents, blaming society, blaming the diets for I was now informed, enlightened and educated about better health and wellness? What WAS STILL weighing me down???? Why was this a continuous battle? I could not accept that being FAT and FEELING like a wounded buffalo in the process was my life journey, there had to be more to it. It seemed as if I was reliving the nightmare of the bulge over and over again. It was around this point in time that I read something written by Peter F. Drucker, he said, 

Courage, rather than analysis, dictates a truly important rule for identifying priorities. Pick the future against the past. Focus on opportunity rather than on problems, choose your own direction rather than climb on the band wagon and aim high, aim for something that will make a difference, rather than for something that is safe and easy to do.

Up until this point with regards to my weight, I had gone into analysis paralysis about my health and weight, never had I identified the priorities, never had I picked the future against the past, in fact, I kept replaying the past, dissecting it in the ‘hope’ of a better future, never had I aimed high, being so caught up in the vicious cycle I found myself in. I also realized I had made plenty of assumptions, based on my not so successful battle against the bulge and each assumption I had made was not conducive to righting the present or the future. I was in fact caught up in the past, it was eternally repeating itself like a stuck record. I had placed myself in a difficult situation. This was the honesty record I had to set straight. I had spent so much time trying to find out what made me tick [incorrectly] that I had lost the plot completely. 

Maybe even with the fact that my parents never made me scale, weight and health aware, they did place emphasis on love, love of self and those around you. Slowly the light in my dim outlook came on. The foundation of love started to trump the shadows I kept chasing. I realized that if I had that as my foundation, I could and would get out of any difficulty [thank you Mom and Dad]. J. Sidlow Baxter wrote in Awake My Heart; 

What is the difference between an obstacle and adversity? Our attitude towards it. Every opportunity has a difficulty and every difficulty has an opportunity.

I realized that I had seen everything as a difficulty, as an obstacle and with it came PLENTY of adversity. Needless to say, my attitude with regards to it was not the greatest. In fact, I really BELIEVED that I was dealt a shocking hand of cards and such was my fate. I made the decision to see no further difficulties, only opportunities, I realized what was weighing me down when it came to my weight was MYSELF, my thoughts, my belief system… Working with so many individuals on their individual journeys I also realized I was NOT THE ONLY ONE. We all seem to reach for the answers outside of ourselves. We look for what is weighing us down in our external environments, we dwell on it, we embrace it, never to put it down, never to draw that really important ‘line in the sand’ to start afresh and focus on your current day and thereby rebuild a better tomorrow. I am sure you have all heard about burning the dietary wagon, AKA giving up on getting rid of unwanted fat? After we realize we have gained an excessive amount of weight, we decide to do something about the weight and around that time, [of course!] our bestest friend decides to have a birthday slap bang in the middle of our journey to wellness. We promise ourselves we will be good until we are offered that first glass of red wine and then we completely forget that we are on diet. By the next morning, we have literally thrown the diet manual out the window and decided to GIVE UP. So doing, we perpetuate the downward spiral and find ourselves clawing our way out of it a couple of months later. This is atypical of NEVER drawing the line in the sand. Once you take control back and NOT allow life to bully you into submission, no friends birthday will be the cause of your weight gain, in fact NOTHING will drive you to that every again because for once you KNOW, that you KNOW that regardless of where you are with regards to your girth size, you are taking each day as it comes, having a better day seeing only opportunities, allowing today to flow into tomorrow, ANOTHER GOOD DAY until you have rewired the outcomes of your tomorrows in such a way that nothing of today could possibly negatively impact the outcome of tomorrow. This may seem a simple narrative, it may seem of no great consequence, trust me, IT IS.  

How do we say no thank you to the birthday cake?
How do we say no thank you to the birthday cake?

Have you ever sat down for a cup of coffee with a friend only to find out that all and everything seems to be going wrong in their lives, that one ‘thing’ led to another and another? The entire conversation dwells in the space of doom and gloom, there seems no way out, ever heard the saying ‘history repeats itself’? As a doting friend we tend to empathetically give advise, solace to this dear friend and their struggles, sadly we add to the negative energy and sooner than later the stew of emotions weighs heavily to the negative side of the scale. Soon after the fateful cup of tea, a follow-up call opens new bad news and so it goes on. No line has been drawn. We have helped perpetuate the past into the future and our friend sharing has done the same.  

So how do we change what is weighing us down? It is this simple. Make the decision to draw that line in the sand. The change may not happen immediately, or the next day, or the next month, but that line is a conscious awareness that becomes the anchor on every day. Sooner than later, the tide starts to turn, IF WE ALLOW IT if our focus is on the opportunities of change that DO EXIST. No matter the situation you find yourself in, delving into the past and massive amounts of self-reflection and introspection are NOT ENOUGH, pause there for a short while ONLY. It is all about that one decision daily as you wake up; that today, is a good day, that you are the grateful victor of this day and definitely the luckiest person alive. Get rid of the blame game and be knowledgeable of the fact that you set the pace, your acceptance of a positive day before it starts sets the pace for the day and the day to follow. The seemingly offensive chokehold life has over you slowly dissipates, doors open and the universe conspires to make EVERYTHING BETTER, LIGHTER, including the weight that is weighing you down.

Are you focussing on health and wellbeing? Or sickness and disease?

Are you focussing on health and wellbeing? Or sickness and disease?

We realize the importance of starting our day off with gratitude, with an emotive THANK YOU, but, do we spend the rest of our day thinking of working towards fantastic health and wellbeing or the dread of sickness and disease?

Since we spend most of our time interacting with our environment, our environment has a huge impact on our thought process. Simultaneously the conversations we have, the reading we do [though these days it seems social media has trumped a good read] the tv we watch and the newspapers we read add to that environment. As I find myself researching the state of health globally, the latest diets, the impact of the food choices we make there seems to be increasing awareness and focus that lies within FEAR for the future when it comes to obesity and disease.  

As I have an absolute passion for health and living to age 100 at least [yes my children, you may have me around for a good few more years than you bargained for] and have an understanding that if I keep my focus on the negativity of health and wellness well, then I am not creating a health and wellness outlook but rather a sickness and disease outlook. I also deal with people searching for better health focus daily and to turn their energy from their ‘struggle’ to what is POSSIBLE is my main focus as a coach and mentor.

I became aware of how a person can get caught up in the negativity when I read a range of books including Ralph Waldo Emerson, he said that “You are what you think all day long.” this continued when I started my journey in weight removal. I had just asked my daughter to take some pictures to keep a record of my journey and declared my disdain of where I was based on the dreadful pictures I was staring at, she turned around and said “Mom, can you imagine what those will look like in 6 months!!!?”. In an instant, I realized where my focus was. And, simultaneously I got her optimistic upbeat response. Literally, my world opened up and my awareness of where my thought process was landed on my lap. I realized that FEAR and FRUSTRATION in thought about better health drove my reaction to the photos in a NEGATIVE WAY. That from a person who ALWAYS SAYS “What starts wrong ends wrong“. It was such a learning curve as even though I sit daily with people applying positive thoughts when it came to my own personal journey I had just fallen short. I also realized that I could choose to make my thoughts work towards ridding myself of fat OR, allow them to drive me to fear and therefore gain weight! After all, our mind truly rules our body. The sad thing about this is it is true not only on the mental level but results in the physical outcomes of what we DON’T WANT. Then it gets even a little more complicated, never do we look internally, we find blame externally, so the first thing we do when we fail to rid our bodies of fat is we blame the diet we are on, maybe just maybe it is our thoughts that led to failure…

I read an interesting article and the following was said:

The words you say come from the thoughts you have, which create the feelings you have. So go to the root of the issue: what are you thinking, and what are you putting into your body, into your mind? What is the food you are feeding this life you call your own? No one else will do it for you, and nothing that may have happened in your past is responsible for doing what you are now in control of, that which you do, think and speak. Every second is your own responsibility and within your power to change.

If we embrace the understanding that thoughts create things we will be EXTREMELY aware of our thoughts. On a physical level let me explain; when we live in a world of external stresses and we take them on and add some more, of course, dinner does not stay at one plate of food, we start feeding the stresses and emotions, 2 plates later and 2 desserts later we feel no better! This then leads to waking up the next morning, and calmness turns to anxiety when facing our wardrobe, with anxiety on high alert your body misinterprets your tight pants combined with the anxiety for a reason to feed up and bolt down. We add fuel to the fire by blaming ourselves for weakness, lack of discipline and then family genetics for the tight pants and our thoughts lead to the fatty army in our body running for the thighs! Next minute we are 15kgs heavier, at least 2 dress sizes up and on anti-depressants. Yes, just like that our thoughts turn our attempt at dieting into fat protection.

The moral of the story? Quite simple, when you decide to go on a diet to get your health back, spend VERY LITTLE TIME on bemoaning the size of your thighs, how many diets you have been on, how many sizes of clothes are in your cupboard, the possible diabetes that runs in the family and more time on how AWESOME it is going to be to tie those shoelaces with ease, acheless ankles as you walk down the flight of stairs, the ability to walk and soak in the sunshine without feeling like a wounded buffalo and a cupboard full of GORGEOUS CLOTHES to wear again. Change the thoughts you dwell on and watch how you succeed at your regulated diet. Speak health INTO your life, go on a positive mental diet that I have dealt with on my previous post and REMAIN OPTIMISTIC about a healthier life – make it easier for you purely with the RIGHT THINKING in place!

So next time you catch yourself giving yourself and your life a hard time in thought and word, assess who you with [yes, the moaners and groaners have a tendency to influence our thoughts of ourselves as well], what you are reading, watching or interacting with and maybe pause and switch lanes. Reach for a better feeling thought to assist your waistline! Trust me, that change of lane can happen in a split second and you will be GRATEFUL for it and FEEL TONS BETTER!

TIME to BURN the ships? Forgiveness mastery.

TIME to BURN the ships? Forgiveness mastery.

Possibly the toughest, yet worthiest of all thoughts and/or actions you can perform, forgiveness; there is no greater source of self-preservation (besides maybe breathing).

Have you ever said or thought “I will never forgive you!“? Have you ever thought what the impact of that is on YOU physically, mentally and emotionally? We live in a world of never forgive, never forget and only those with who truly realize the impact of the impasse realize that this is not the wisest route to follow. No forgiveness is a bitter poison that gets dished for a guest, but at the end of the day, only gets consumed by you. Cut the strings, BURN THE SHIPS, do not be the puppet in anybody’s show. FORGIVE AND LET GO.

It was Jim Rohn who said that the winds of change blow on all of us, it is how we set our sails that determine OUR outcome. The relevance of this is far-reaching, we tend to gauge our success by the external influences that impact us and ‘force’ us to take to a certain direction, if we comply we would surely reach success in finances, relationships and health? Not necessarily, only by implementing ‘I am the Captain of my own ship‘ do we breed an internal compass point that guides us to success.

How does FORGIVENESS impact us? Or rather, how does lack of forgiveness impact us?

LET US DIG DEEP

Historically, Émile Coué, the French mind theorist instigated autosuggestion of ‘day by day in every way…’ to have an impact on a person living positively. The basics of this were that you believe this mentally and emotionally, thus allowing your subconscious to take on agreement to the suggestions over time, slowly your perceptions of the world around you and of course yourself as well starts to transform.

Forgive and let go
Forgive and let go

Now let us take it a step further, Mitch Horowitz summed it up beautifully in his book ‘” target=”_blank”>The Miracle Club‘ where he discusses the Golden Rule, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you‘, this, the Golden Rule, came about in the late seventeenth-century England. He quotes a detailed section from Napoleon Hill’s brilliant book, The Miracle Club""” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener” aria-label=”Law of Success (opens in a new tab)”>Law of Success, that relates to this accepted ‘Rule’, I will quote the same section to avoid misunderstanding of any sort. This will ensure clarity on the impact of a lack of forgiveness.

Now, I am one of those individuals that have always embraced forgiveness, but I am aware of some who hold tightly to the unforgivenesses false feel of justice and on reading this, my veins ran cold based on the understanding of its validity in life as we know it. This passage particularly made me pause and reflect for quite some time…

“Your thoughts of others are registered in your subconscious mind through the principle of autosuggestion,” Hill wrote, “thereby building your own character in exact duplicate.” Hence: “You must ‘think of others as you wish them to think of you.’ The law upon which the Golden Rule is based begins affecting you, for good or evil, the moment you release a thought.”
It is worth considering Hill’s point of view at length:
“If all your acts toward others, and even your thoughts of others, are registered in your subconscious mind, through the principle of autosuggestion, thereby building your own character in exact duplicate of your thoughts and acts, can you not see how important it is to guard those acts and thoughts?
We are now in the very heart of the real reason for doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, for it is obvious that whatever we do unto others we do unto ourselves.
Stated in another way, every act and every thought you release modifies your own character in exact conformity with the nature of the act or thought, and your character is a sort of center of magnetic attraction, which attracts to you the people and conditions that harmonize with it. You cannot indulge in an act toward another person without having first created the nature of that act in your own thought, and you cannot release a thought without planting the sum and substance and nature of it in your own subconscious mind, there to become a part and parcel of your own character.
Grasp this simple principle and you will understand why you cannot afford to hate or envy another person. You will also understand why you cannot afford to strike back, in kind, at those who do you an injustice. Likewise, you will understand the injunction, “Return good for evil.”

Euuuowch… Mitch Horowitz in his BRILLIANTLY written book follows up with this to close this debate;

You become what you do not forgive.”

YOWSERS!

For the first time in my life, I looked past my already clear understanding of what unforgiveness can do to health, how it can break you down mentally by clinging on to it, here we see how we literally are CREATING ourselves in like image of our unforgiven item by absorption.

HOW IS FORGIVENESS GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALTH?

YOU WILL LIVE LONGER AND HAVE A STRONG IMMUNITY

Yup, you heard right, if you love your life and have a desire to live to at least 100 years of age, start actively forgiving, not just those who may have done you harm but yourself too!
Think about this, the poison chalice of unforgiveness being held by you is BEING HELD BY YOU… Now you may say… but I don’t forgive that event/person/process for they do NOT deserve forgiveness then keep this in mind;

LIFE does not happen TO YOU, it DOES happen FOR YOU… practice forgiveness, and move forward.

As a matter of scientific interest, let us have a look at a Japanese author and pseudoscientist, Dr Emoto, who said that human consciousness has an effect on the molecular structure of water – this is relevant based on the fact that WE ARE 70% water, therefore if we keep negative non-forgiving thoughts we are messing with the building blocks of our bodies. Emoto’s work was based on pseudoscientific hypotheses that water could react to positive thoughts and words. Our cells primary content is water, we are made up of millions of cells and our immunity needs positively functioning cells. Yes, we impact those around us, whether positive or negative, our energy does transfer to those around us AND we slowly impact our length of life.

Now there may be a strong argument that some of us do know some miserable characters who are reaching ripe old ages, that may be, but they are miserable and have lived miserable lives for a reason…

YOUR ADRENAL GLAND WILL BREATH A SIGH OF RELIEVE

Your adrenal gland deals with stress, any anger held without release promotes and motivates fight or flight in your body which in turn activates your adrenal gland. This affects your blood pressure and naturally your heart rate. The minute you forgive, the burden is removed off your shoulders, note how you CAN BREATH EASY when you hand it over and let it go!

YOUR HEART WILL HUG YOU

The process of holding on to anger and never practicing forgiveness only leads to stress and anxiety, as I said above, your blood pressure increases, your heart HAS TO WORK HARDER, after all, it loves you and must make sure you are HAPPY. If you forgive others AND yourself your heart feels the love, your soul can peacefully smile. The only one that may be impacted is your resident ego.

MENTAL HEALTH

There is such power in forgiveness when it comes to mental health not just your own but again, those around you. You may have heard of:

I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you

Officially known as Ho’oponopono, this was developed by the Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, he used this prayerful mantra to cure an entire ward of criminally insane patients. This was done without ever meeting any of them or spending a moment in the same room. He reviewed each of the patients’ files, and then he healed them by healing himself using the statement above.

Using a forgiveness statement like this can be life-changing, don’t say it just once, try and say it over and over for a few minutes on end and feel positive energy lift within. The detail on Ho’oponopono will be shared in a blog post shortly.

Forgiveness is empowering
Forgiveness is empowering

Another way of dealing with forgiveness are the use of subliminals. Personally I have worked with these and forever will, not only are they enjoyable back ground music but I find them quite impactful. Especially if you are maybe finding it hard to forgive, or if you try to forgive and your gut says NO WAY, then working with subliminal input can be extremely helpful. I am suggesting one that is specifically for forgiveness. Do have a look at the wording they use to ensure it works for you.

Basically, forgiveness can:
Lead to a stronger immune system
Result in good heart health
Improve mental health
Result in reduced anxiety and stress
It can lower blood pressure
Lead to healthier relationships
Result in fewer depression symptoms
And my favorite, improved self-esteem

HOW DO I FORGIVE THAT *** ???

This is a journey worth taking, it moves you from holding on to suffering, anger, hurt, rejection to a place that allows you to have an improved life. I am certain that there are serious deeds in need of forgiveness in peoples lives, and some will say, how do you even get to that place of forgiveness? I would like to answer with a question, and it may seem oversimplified, but do ponder for a moment;

How does holding on to all of that pain serve you?

I am of the realization that NOTHING I held on to, thinking that it would serve me in some way, actually did.

Take careful small steps forward, decide to truly release yourself and the culprit from that negative energy. Start small, it may have been someone who cut you off in traffic, start there. Every day grow in your ability of forgiveness. If you need support, get it!

Now comes the tough part, remember I mentioned, life happens for you, not to you? Move from the zone of the victim into being the hero of your own story – then live the newly improved revised story. BURN THE SHIPS! Decide not to revisit or return to those emotions that never served you in the first place.

AFRAID OF FORGIVENESS?

Many people are afraid of the word ‘forgive’, they think that after that they and the culprit would need to be best buds. Not so, the word forgive means to hand it over, to let go of those feelings, to create a void which could be filled with only positive feelings if we allow it. In FACT… the joy of forgiveness is forever giving, frequently we find ourselves stuck in finances, relationships or health issues, with a little investigation and mindfulness, we may find we ONLY NEED TO FORGIVE a situation or a person closely linked to the situation. It is at this time I work with ‘I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I LOVE YOU‘ and I say it with emotional DEPTH and ENTHUSIASM.

FORGIVENESS IN ACTION

I came across an extremely helpful understanding of how to go about forgiveness including a decree to use in speaking forgiveness in my life. The helpful information I came across was shared by Catherine Ponder, it is simple and meaningful.

When forgiving, “sit for half an hour every day and mentally forgive every one that you are out of harmony with, feel badly toward or are concerned about. If you have accused anyone of injustice, if you have discussed anyone unkindly, if you have criticized or gossiped about anyone… mentally ask their forgiveness. Subconsciously, they will respond. In like manner, if you have accused yourself of failure or mistakes, forgive yourself.

She explains that when we hold resentment towards a situation or person/s, we are bound to that person/s or condition by “an emotional link that is stronger than steel. The practice of forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and be free“. It makes sense, think about when you hold on to resentment, the mood that goes with it, IT IS HEAVY?!

By emotionally releasing the situation or condition we need to keep in mind that we “never lose anything that still belongs to you by divine right, through the act of emotional release. Instead, you make way for your good to manifest in grander ways than ever before.” That is, we create a vacuum, a void, for something greater and better in our lives.

To finish this off, i have included the following, a decree I make use of as a FORGIVENESS AFFIRMATION (reference to Catherine Ponder number of books):

All that has offended me, I forgive,
Within and without, I forgive,
Things past, things present and things future, I forgive,
I forgive positively everyone and everything that could possibly need forgiveness of the past or present,
I forgive absolutely everyone,
They are free now and I am free too.
All things are cleared up between us now and forever.
I am in right relationships with all people and all situations now.
I fully and freely forgive you. I lose you and let you go to your good quickly and in peace. All is cleared up between us now and forever. Just as you fully and freely forgive me, lose me and let me go to my good quickly and in peace. All is cleared up between us now and forever.
I forgive myself.

REFERENCE

Horowitz, Mitch. The Law of Success""” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener” aria-label=”The Miracle Club (opens in a new tab)”>The Miracle Club: How Thoughts Become Reality (pp. 86-87). Inner Traditions/Bear & Company. Kindle Edition.

Free will, does she exist?

Free will, does she exist?

Let us look at the critters responsible for our thoughts and emotions.

You most likely have used the words; “I just had a gut feeling about it!“, if so, you were 100% correct. Today we take on the essence of looking at our emotions as a force of 39 trillion bacterial cells versus 30 trillion human cells, yup, we are more bacterial than human… could it be that there is no free will?

This could be a chicken and egg scenario. Is it our thoughts that create ‘things’, or could it be our ‘things’ that create our thoughts? There is an absolute understanding that thoughts create things, one of my favorite books written by Wallace D Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, is purely based on thoughts creating things. This is especially true when thoughts are driven by emotions, that then create beliefs that drive us to action and culminates in results, be they good or bad. Now if this premise can be taken as a possible reality, that it can be proved through personal experience, then the only questions left in my mind are;

  1. What or who creates our thoughts and emotions, and
  2. How important are the emotions that hold on to those thoughts?
Gut Bacteria - microbiome
Happy neighbor from Gut-City reporting for thought duty…

1. What or who creates our thoughts and emotions?

This is a question that can be answered scientifically, spiritually, subjectively and objectively. As I am the author, I have decided to answer it based on my gut – which could be seen as subjective of course. I have always advocated that everything, YES EVERYTHING in our body comes down to our gut, our little critters that have made home in a less than pleasant space, rule the roost from this position, be it our immunity (70% of the health of your immunity depends on the health of your gut city), or be it our emotions. Ever heard a child in distress (be it under pressure of school or a fight with a friend) state that they have an ‘upset tummy’?

We have always thought (really??) that we have free will, not so, scientists have determined that 7 seconds before making a move, you have already decided to. Now, why would that be? Well, firstly it has to do with self-preservation, fight or flight, our Neanderthal self steps in… I may add, if our survival purely depended on our personal response rate, I would most likely be dead. And secondly, we have a bucket load of bacteria who kinda like being in control for self-preservation too. Could it possibly be that your bacterial city – NOT YOU, decided it was time to down a glass of water, or eat a piece of citrus fruit, or walk away from an angry situation (a fight or flight response)? Possibly based on a ‘gut feel’? If we find ourselves as such intelligent beings, could it be that the actual intelligence comes from our bacteria and not our brain cells, that in fact, the bacteria IS the command centre and the brain; only the worker, the doer?

I picture human cells as a physical expression of thought but thought based on the energy, health, and environment (physical and spiritual) of your bacteria.

2. How important are the emotions that hold on to those thoughts?

So if we have no free will, and bacteria are the ones calling the shots, then do we own our emotions? Again, I see it this way, if I have 39 trillion children demanding sugar simultaneously, and I resist supplying the pure white and deadly, is it possible that there may be an emotional uprising, a crisis? Especially if of the 39 trillion, 30 trillion are not healthy bacteria, who flourish on sugar as a means of survival. Chances are thoughts will rush to the brain along the lines of; throw a tantrum, get angry, demand that pay rise after working 20 straight hours resulting in absolute exhaustion and get that bloody sugar drink in! Emotively done? I think so, at least 30 trillion emotive demands coming to your brain, way before this thought arises, “A cooldrink will be good, I wonder if the boss is noticing my overtime?

Lets not even get to stress and how that affects your gut-city

So how do we control these little invaders? Quite simply, we need to feed and water them correctly or they WILL be throwing their toys. TOYS OR WILL POWER? Besides the emotional and behavioral impact they have on us, if not heard, not fed, not watered, chances are illness will start manifesting. It will start with an unhappy gut-city and slowly move to every organ, cell, and tissue in your body. Ever watched dominos falling? Weight issues, headaches, chronic diseases, sleep problems, skin irritations, allergies, I can go on.

Please do your research on what is the best pre and probiotic for your gut. Do not be fooled by claims of ‘MILLIONS OF STRAINS’ labels on containers, you want the right neighbors to move into your Gut-City, those that smile and wave, have good conversations and even lend a cup of flour when required. Take the time to read up on the effects of a healthy gut change, especially based on the fact that “the human microbiome, the resident bacteria that live within our intestines may actually exercise strong control of various aspects of human health” written by Dr. Perlmutter. Link to his amazing books below:

http://Be Informed

I love the natural pre and probiotic supplement GI Probalance, that literally changed the health of my daughter within a month. After her lungs collapsed at 2 weeks of age and 9 years of continual doctor visits, I became obsessed with improving her immunity, keeping her critters happy was the answer! This pre/probiotic supplement made that difference – it has been 3 years and she has not been back to a doctor for lung problems, colds, flu, and allergies.

Ahhhhh, the gut-city, make them your friends! Look after them and they will look after you, thought wise, behaviorally, physically and emotionally. Get your gut-city behind you and success will surely follow.

REFERENCE:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-gut-brain-connection

http://www.microbiomeinstitute.org/blog/2016/1/20/how-many-bacterial-vs-human-cells-are-in-the-body

Everything and more, not just enough.

Everything and more, not just enough.

I wish for you to embrace the understanding that you are everything and more.

I remember as a child, I truly felt that love made the world go round (do check my previous post), and my greatest wish was to hear from somebody, anybody that I was everything and more… not just enough, now, I don’t think that I am strange or unusual – though some may, in fact, classify me as the unusual which I will embrace any day – I do think that being told that as an individual allows a warm fuzzy feeling to settle over your heart.

Progress a few years down the line, I read so often how self-esteem issues are primary causes of heartache and despair and I had to pause and reflect to determine if this societal outbreak was in my camp too. Quite honestly, I had my fair share of heartache and despair…

My plan of action was as follows, I slowly started taking more notice of the voice in my head and the messages I was hearing, please note I do not have split personalities, I am however investigative and am very good at being self aware when required. Now, on a daily basis I have always classified myself as optimistic, but then I paused and started listening, carefully to that inner voice… and my word, I needed a new voice! With that in mind, I set out on the “Positive Mental Diet“, a thought process discussed in great detail by people such as Neville Goddard, Brian Tracey to mention a few. If every you have been on a physical diet, I can say, that is EASY in comparison to this little puppy. I have not only done it once but a couple of times in my life, in fact I motivate many to do it as it is truly one way of not just feeling enough as an individual but everything and more.

This is the process:

Firstly: what is negative to ensure clarity? Any thought, action, or out loud verbal grunt groan complaint or gossiping is classified as negative. If you dwell, think, act on negativity such as failure, a bad smell in the air, criticism just received, envy or condemn yourself or another person, that is negative. Basically, bite your tongue, thoughts and nerve endings.

1. Go easy on yourself, first spend a couple of days, one week would be best to take note of that little inner voice, distance yourself, be honest about it and try catch yourself out, for like me, you may say, “I don’t struggle with negative thoughts, I think only highly of myself…, do test this thought for the next week.

2. Prepare, I found placing little positive symbols everywhere helped, in my vehicle, my bathroom, my laptop, my kettle and on my fridge, place it where you move, what is interesting there is that it becomes amazing conversation starters as everyone wants to know what this is as after all, it is everywhere. Now you can explain to them how you are driving yourself past just being enough to someone who realises they are everything and more… [what self-esteem issues???]

3. The day you start on this diet, decide length of time, most people are truly courageous and start on 7 days. Wake up on your start day and utter these words FIRST: “Thank you” and “This is going to be a great day and I am the luckiest person alive today!” now just by typing that I felt AMAZING. Try saying it out loud!

4. There are some rules to these 7 days, please do not dwell on negative thoughts, you may acknowledge it but flip it over the minute it enters. Make it playful, inform your family that you are doing this and make it their objective (by the way children love this) to catch you out on a negative utterance. Oh, I forgot to mention, it is not just thoughts, it is the spoken word and actions too! Sounds impossible right?

5. If for some reason Day 1 don’t go so well, and you are ready to burn the wagon, take heart, some people don’t get past the first 5 minutes. It is however the greatest mind process you will take on in your life and worth every effort. Helpful tip: start noticing amazing things, start counting your blessing, notice the clear blue sky, the wonderful sunset, the friendly smile of a passer by, immediately the world starts behaving a bit more positively and conspires to keep good things coming your way. [If this sounds remotely like laws of the mind, it is and it helps to understand them – another topic for another day]

6. This is going to be difficult, and remember this, when we start to feel discomfort at our own thoughts, emotions out play logic by a mile, your mind WILL start advising you that you are wasting your time, it will drive you towards the negative – for old times’ sake, it may even ask you to say something mean or gossip. At this point, carry a little A6 booklet, or take out your mobile, start a Gratitude diary and put down a couple of items to be grateful for, that shuts up the negative committee in your head within a sentence or two.

7. Let us discuss another rule, if you have blundered your way through a day, and note, did not take my advice on starting a gratitude journal or put your sticky positive signs everywhere, well, no stress, you need to start again on Day 1:). You may just take my advice to heart if you reach attempt number 2.

8. You may see this as an impossible task, it may just be, but do attempt it. Get the family involved, each morning to this day, as I drive my children to school or we eat breakfast together, we share out loud 3 gratitude’s each to start our day and I immediately have a great start to my day as they have to theirs.

9. Do not attempt to control your thoughts (we make them 7 seconds before we act on them in any event) just acknowledge them and let them pass or flip them to positive thoughts. Do not attempt to control people and situations around you (or, if you do get that right, DO let me know as that would be AWESOME), remind yourself you chose what you mentally accept and if there is poor behaviour which drives you to the negative try remove yourself from the conversation or work in the space of breathing through it focusing on the positive – if you can bring out the gratitude journal.

10. Finally, keep in mind that we are energy beings, what we push out we generally attract, some people are of the mind that the best way to do this diet is to tell no one that you are doing it, if you have a great group of friends and colleagues it could be fantastic to share it with them. If however you feel challenged in your environment it may be better to keep it close to your heart. What ever your choice may be, I find that the Universe reacts to me as I react to it.

One thing I can say, this is a thought provoking journey, on completion of this, you will be at a greater peace within yourself, without the feeling of self-esteem issues, the best gift in life is to realize that you are everything and more and this can be done and helped along by the 7 day Positive Mental Diet!

Your Journey
Your journey on a positive mental diet

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