Friendship, oxygen for life.

by T | Jun 15, 2019 | Mind

If you have one good friend, you are fortunate, if you have 2 or more, you are truly blessed.

Spending time with a close friend this evening and having a heart to heart conversation allowed me such perspective on not just my life but on the importance of having a great friendship. Maslow has his hierarchy of needs with the basic physiological needs first and foremost, social needs came in at 3rd place. It is clear he had a thorough understanding of friendship for today I am truly grateful for the friends I have.

Taking into consideration and understanding that God truly made friends to apologize for the family you may have, places the importance of friendship into context. There are just certain things you CANNOT say to family, but you CAN say to friends. If they are GREAT friends they will tell you straight up if you may be demented, they may be blatantly honest and you will STILL BE FRIENDS the next day.

So what makes a great friend and what is a friend actually? After my gratitude for the time I spent chatting with my friend I actually looked it up to check, what does make a good friend and came across an inspiring way of looking at friends, I have included my comments in square brackets and referenced the article so you can read more if it does interest you:

“Forgiveness is important because everyone makes mistakes. Rather than turning your back on a friend who has hurt you, talk about your pain. If this person is a real friend, he or she will apologize.” [I agree 500%, I have seen friends walk away from each other and bemoan the separation forever. Why do that!!!?]

“Reliability is a cornerstone of good friendship. Knowing that you can call on someone who will be there for you, and you know has your back, is empowering and a great comfort.” [My friends know they can call any time. They also make it clear to me that I can call them.]

“If you want to have a friend, learn to be a friend. Giving what you want to get is the best way to show someone how to be your friend. People generally like us because we like them.” [If it is a one–way relationship, it ain’t a relationship]

“Envy will kill a friendship, and so will jealousy. Your friend may have everything you think you want, but if you are green with envy, your friend will sense that something’s out of sync in your relationship.So count your blessings, which should include having a friend who inspires you to achieve your goals.” [Empathy – yes, this one I need to replace. Have empathy for each other, feel their feelings to understand their choices and decisions. I tend to steer away from negativity and envy should not exist in good friendships. I have a friend who is incredibly fortunate in life in certain areas and I ONLY wish her the best. The way it should be.]

“Negativity is the antithesis of friendship. No friendship is going to be perfect all of the time, but keep the bad vibes away; they can only undermine the good thing you’ve got going.” [Amen]

“Deep discussions are a treasure of friendship. Having a friend who won’t judge you can make your life better. Letting out your feelings with a trusted ally is good therapy.” [Good friends act as soundboards, they will give you subjective and objective opinions and generally lift these opinions exactly when you need it.]

“Sharing your feelings and being able to listen are important parts of any good relationship. For some reason, women seem to be better at this than men, so guys, let’s be better buddies to each other.”

“Happiness can come from knowing you have good people in your life. If you don’t have a family of your own, having your friends as family is a true privilege.” [I do believe, happiness is an inside job, but having a good friend makes it that much easier!]

“Independence is an important part of good friendships. Your friend, no matter how close he or she may be, can’t be there for you every minute; almost no one can. That would make for an unhealthy dependency; friendship needs to be a two-way street.”

“People from your past may be more than just someone you once knew. For several reasons, it’s easier to feel close to people you have known for a long time. There is trust there, as well as the knowledge of how someone behaves under a variety of situations. Old friends are reliable, and most of the time, they make us feel a little safer.”

The following is the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201108/10-ways-make-and-be-great-friend

So what was special about my conversation? Let me summarize, as friends do, we caught up regarding our lives, what’s happening, and how well things are going. At this point I shared my dilemma, within an instant we had an in depth discussion, pros, cons, directions ahead, what are the possibilities, what should be done and what the Universe is teaching me. By the end of the conversation, we had booked exercise time for tomorrow, a 6 week plan ahead for exercise, possible business opportunity, a trip to the Northern Lights in Norway was verbally booked for next year, yes, it was decided to travel bi-yearly and we debated the Universes wisdom and involvement in it all… In around and hour, my life became a little more meaningful, a little fuller, a little more constructed and a little less too.

This is what a good friendship is about. Making it great is up to each of us.