Possibly the toughest, yet worthiest of all thoughts and/or actions you can perform, forgiveness; there is no greater source of self-preservation (besides maybe breathing).
Have you ever said or thought “I will never forgive you!“? Have you ever thought what the impact of that is on YOU physically, mentally and emotionally? We live in a world of never forgive, never forget and only those with who truly realize the impact of the impasse realize that this is not the wisest route to follow. No forgiveness is a bitter poison that gets dished for a guest, but at the end of the day, only gets consumed by you. Cut the strings, BURN THE SHIPS, do not be the puppet in anybody’s show. FORGIVE AND LET GO.
It was Jim Rohn who said that the winds of change blow on all of us, it is how we set our sails that determine OUR outcome. The relevance of this is far-reaching, we tend to gauge our success by the external influences that impact us and ‘force’ us to take to a certain direction, if we comply we would surely reach success in finances, relationships and health? Not necessarily, only by implementing ‘I am the Captain of my own ship‘ do we breed an internal compass point that guides us to success.
How does FORGIVENESS impact us? Or rather, how does lack of forgiveness impact us?
LET US DIG DEEP
Historically, Émile Coué, the French mind theorist instigated autosuggestion of ‘day by day in every way…’ to have an impact on a person living positively. The basics of this were that you believe this mentally and emotionally, thus allowing your subconscious to take on agreement to the suggestions over time, slowly your perceptions of the world around you and of course yourself as well starts to transform.
Now let us take it a step further, Mitch Horowitz summed it up beautifully in his book ‘” target=”_blank”>The Miracle Club‘ where he discusses the Golden Rule, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you‘, this, the Golden Rule, came about in the late seventeenth-century England. He quotes a detailed section from Napoleon Hill’s brilliant book, The Miracle Club” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener” aria-label=”Law of Success (opens in a new tab)”>Law of Success, that relates to this accepted ‘Rule’, I will quote the same section to avoid misunderstanding of any sort. This will ensure clarity on the impact of a lack of forgiveness.
Now, I am one of those individuals that have always embraced forgiveness, but I am aware of some who hold tightly to the unforgivenesses false feel of justice and on reading this, my veins ran cold based on the understanding of its validity in life as we know it. This passage particularly made me pause and reflect for quite some time…
““Your thoughts of others are registered in your subconscious mind through the principle of autosuggestion,” Hill wrote, “thereby building your own character in exact duplicate.” Hence: “You must ‘think of others as you wish them to think of you.’ The law upon which the Golden Rule is based begins affecting you, for good or evil, the moment you release a thought.” It is worth considering Hill’s point of view at length: “If all your acts toward others, and even your thoughts of others, are registered in your subconscious mind, through the principle of autosuggestion, thereby building your own character in exact duplicate of your thoughts and acts, can you not see how important it is to guard those acts and thoughts? We are now in the very heart of the real reason for doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, for it is obvious that whatever we do unto others we do unto ourselves. Stated in another way, every act and every thought you release modifies your own character in exact conformity with the nature of the act or thought, and your character is a sort of center of magnetic attraction, which attracts to you the people and conditions that harmonize with it. You cannot indulge in an act toward another person without having first created the nature of that act in your own thought, and you cannot release a thought without planting the sum and substance and nature of it in your own subconscious mind, there to become a part and parcel of your own character. Grasp this simple principle and you will understand why you cannot afford to hate or envy another person. You will also understand why you cannot afford to strike back, in kind, at those who do you an injustice. Likewise, you will understand the injunction, “Return good for evil.”“
Euuuowch… Mitch Horowitz in his BRILLIANTLY written book follows up with this to close this debate;
“You become what you do not forgive.”
For the first time in my life, I looked past my already clear understanding of what unforgiveness can do to health, how it can break you down mentally by clinging on to it, here we see how we literally are CREATING ourselves in like image of our unforgiven item by absorption.
HOW IS FORGIVENESS GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALTH?
YOU WILL LIVE LONGER AND HAVE A STRONG IMMUNITY
Yup, you heard right, if you love your life and have a desire to live to at least 100 years of age, start actively forgiving, not just those who may have done you harm but yourself too! Think about this, the poison chalice of unforgiveness being held by you is BEING HELD BY YOU… Now you may say… but I don’t forgive that event/person/process for they do NOT deserve forgiveness then keep this in mind;
LIFE does not happen TO YOU, it DOES happen FOR YOU… practice forgiveness, and move forward.
As a matter of scientific interest, let us have a look at a Japanese author and pseudoscientist, Dr Emoto, who said that human consciousness has an effect on the molecular structure of water – this is relevant based on the fact that WE ARE 70% water, therefore if we keep negative non-forgiving thoughts we are messing with the building blocks of our bodies. Emoto’s work was based on pseudoscientific hypotheses that water could react to positive thoughts and words. Our cells primary content is water, we are made up of millions of cells and our immunity needs positively functioning cells. Yes, we impact those around us, whether positive or negative, our energy does transfer to those around us AND we slowly impact our length of life.
Now there may be a strong argument that some of us do know some miserable characters who are reaching ripe old ages, that may be, but they are miserable and have lived miserable lives for a reason…
YOUR ADRENAL GLAND WILL BREATH A SIGH OF RELIEVE
Your adrenal gland deals with stress, any anger held without release promotes and motivates fight or flight in your body which in turn activates your adrenal gland. This affects your blood pressure and naturally your heart rate. The minute you forgive, the burden is removed off your shoulders, note how you CAN BREATH EASY when you hand it over and let it go!
YOUR HEART WILL HUG YOU
The process of holding on to anger and never practicing forgiveness only leads to stress and anxiety, as I said above, your blood pressure increases, your heart HAS TO WORK HARDER, after all, it loves you and must make sure you are HAPPY. If you forgive others AND yourself your heart feels the love, your soul can peacefully smile. The only one that may be impacted is your resident ego.
There is such power in forgiveness when it comes to mental health not just your own but again, those around you. You may have heard of:
“I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you“
Officially known as Ho’oponopono, this was developed by the Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, he used this prayerful mantra to cure an entire ward of criminally insane patients. This was done without ever meeting any of them or spending a moment in the same room. He reviewed each of the patients’ files, and then he healed them by healing himself using the statement above.
Using a forgiveness statement like this can be life-changing, don’t say it just once, try and say it over and over for a few minutes on end and feel positive energy lift within. The detail on Ho’oponopono will be shared in a blog post shortly.
Another way of dealing with forgiveness are the use of subliminals. Personally I have worked with these and forever will, not only are they enjoyable back ground music but I find them quite impactful. Especially if you are maybe finding it hard to forgive, or if you try to forgive and your gut says NO WAY, then working with subliminal input can be extremely helpful. I am suggesting one that is specifically for forgiveness. Do have a look at the wording they use to ensure it works for you.
Basically, forgiveness can: Lead to a stronger immune system Result in good heart health Improve mental health Result in reduced anxiety and stress It can lower blood pressure Lead to healthier relationships Result in fewer depression symptoms And my favorite, improved self-esteem
HOW DO I FORGIVE THAT *** ???
This is a journey worth taking, it moves you from holding on to suffering, anger, hurt, rejection to a place that allows you to have an improved life. I am certain that there are serious deeds in need of forgiveness in peoples lives, and some will say, how do you even get to that place of forgiveness? I would like to answer with a question, and it may seem oversimplified, but do ponder for a moment;
How does holding on to all of that pain serve you?
I am of the realization that NOTHING I held on to, thinking that it would serve me in some way, actually did.
Take careful small steps forward, decide to truly release yourself and the culprit from that negative energy. Start small, it may have been someone who cut you off in traffic, start there. Every day grow in your ability of forgiveness. If you need support, get it!
Now comes the tough part, remember I mentioned, life happens for you, not to you? Move from the zone of the victim into being the hero of your own story – then live the newly improved revised story. BURN THE SHIPS! Decide not to revisit or return to those emotions that never served you in the first place.
AFRAID OF FORGIVENESS?
Many people are afraid of the word ‘forgive’, they think that after that they and the culprit would need to be best buds. Not so, the word forgive means to hand it over, to let go of those feelings, to create a void which could be filled with only positive feelings if we allow it. In FACT… the joy of forgiveness is forever giving, frequently we find ourselves stuck in finances, relationships or health issues, with a little investigation and mindfulness, we may find we ONLY NEED TO FORGIVE a situation or a person closely linked to the situation. It is at this time I work with ‘I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I LOVE YOU‘ and I say it with emotional DEPTH and ENTHUSIASM.
FORGIVENESS IN ACTION
I came across an extremely helpful understanding of how to go about forgiveness including a decree to use in speaking forgiveness in my life. The helpful information I came across was shared by Catherine Ponder, it is simple and meaningful.
When forgiving, “sit for half an hour every day and mentally forgive every one that you are out of harmony with, feel badly toward or are concerned about. If you have accused anyone of injustice, if you have discussed anyone unkindly, if you have criticized or gossiped about anyone… mentally ask their forgiveness. Subconsciously, they will respond. In like manner, if you have accused yourself of failure or mistakes, forgive yourself. ”
She explains that when we hold resentment towards a situation or person/s, we are bound to that person/s or condition by “an emotional link that is stronger than steel. The practice of forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and be free“. It makes sense, think about when you hold on to resentment, the mood that goes with it, IT IS HEAVY?!
By emotionally releasing the situation or condition we need to keep in mind that we “never lose anything that still belongs to you by divine right, through the act of emotional release. Instead, you make way for your good to manifest in grander ways than ever before.” That is, we create a vacuum, a void, for something greater and better in our lives.
To finish this off, i have included the following, a decree I make use of as a FORGIVENESS AFFIRMATION (reference to Catherine Ponder number of books):
“All that has offended me, I forgive, Within and without, I forgive, Things past, things present and things future, I forgive, I forgive positively everyone and everything that could possibly need forgiveness of the past or present, I forgive absolutely everyone, They are free now and I am free too. All things are cleared up between us now and forever. I am in right relationships with all people and all situations now. I fully and freely forgive you. I lose you and let you go to your good quickly and in peace. All is cleared up between us now and forever. Just as you fully and freely forgive me, lose me and let me go to my good quickly and in peace. All is cleared up between us now and forever. I forgive myself.“
Horowitz, Mitch. The Law of Success” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener” aria-label=”The Miracle Club (opens in a new tab)”>The Miracle Club: How Thoughts Become Reality (pp. 86-87). Inner Traditions/Bear & Company. Kindle Edition.
Ever wished you had a magic wand at your disposal? That somehow you could just say the right words to make magic happen? These are 10 truths, given some time in YOUR life, may make a difference!
Will it make a difference in my FINANCES, I get asked… Maybe I reply, would it improve my RELATIONSHIPS, possibly is my answer, and will it make me HEALTHIER, leaner more vibrant? So many questions when I make the suggestion to use 10 simple YET PROFOUND sentences, one a day, that could make your INSIDE a little better on the OUTSIDE.
Where do these 10 truths coming from, who thought of them and why should I pay attention you may be asking? Like all good things in life, it has a history. These 10 truths are based on a book dear to me, an inspiring author and the impactful words he put to paper, back in 1968. The book is ‘The Greatest Salesman in the World‘ by Og Mandino from which the greatest 10 truths, referred to as scrolls by the author, will be shared.
Firstly do not let the title sway you off course, it was dedicated to W Clement Stone, who by all counts was the greatest salesman (who if you like a little history is connected to and inspired Napoleon Hill who wrote one of the most read books on the planet; Think & Grow Rich – currently at 9th position worldwide, if you haven’t read it… oh dear).
This is a different understanding of how to achieve success no matter if you apply it to FINANCES, RELATIONSHIPS or HEALTH. Regardless of it being written in 1968, it is as relevant now as it was then. Great minds from many moons back still have an impact now.
What shifted my understanding of this book, and if you have not read it, do take the time to do so, was how the scrolls, the 10 truths CAN APPLY TO ANYTHING in life. All that is required is a little bit of imagination. The basic 10 truths as written by the great Og Mandino will be presented below, then use a bit of imagination on how to apply it to current focus areas in your life that may need a little bit of TLC. I will give you a general understanding and example of how to apply it and I will stay the course throughout the 10 truths for a better understanding, I have used ‘going on diet’ as the focus area.
I would like to add, each and every scroll in this gem of a book, ever word, as is, as written, is brilliant and can be used verbatim… But if like me, you are not a salesman, it may feel, this said with respect, a bit disconnected when you say “I am the greatest salesman” daily, so never fear, replace words to suit your needs, it could be “I am the greatest 100m athlete“, make it relevant to you.
Now, long live the words that were written by Og Mandino, let’s embrace them and give them a new texture and life based on applicability to our lives today… Start by reading the book start to finish… Now this may take a while as part of the process is taking each of these TRUTHS (referred to as scrolls in the book) and reading each of them for 30 days, so basically just over 10 months of reading. If you would like an overview, it can be read in an afternoon, but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…
The 10 truths, the scrolls that will transform your life!
Each ‘scroll’ 1 to 10, the 10 truths, will be listed below, a suggested question will be asked based on the scroll/truth, your mind will attempt to find the answer, yes, I want your brain and subconscious to really get involved in transforming your life. I then highlight a favorite passage, one which I feel is relevant regardless of the year we find ourselves in – that being said, I trust that the little passages will motivate you to pick up this book and READ IT! I share my opinion on the passage and would love to hear yours too!
My suggestion is to do as following:
read the scroll/truth out loud with ENTHUSIASM,
ask yourself the question related to it. – You may ask WHY? Your brain will speed ahead looking for the answer and work relentlessly to find that answer 24/7 – as with these scrolls, finding the answers could be life-changing in a positive way.
NOTE: The main action is the replacement of the worlds ‘greatest salesman’, I have made use of diet as the reframing. Let us begin.
Truth 1 “The Scroll Marked I” “Today I begin a new life” – Could be: Today I begin a new life focussed on my diet success.
Question yourself: Why do I begin a new life today and every day [succeeding on my diet]?
Excerpt: “I will commence my journey unencumbered with either the weight of unnecessary knowledge or the handicap of meaningless experience. Nature already has supplied me with knowledge and instinct far greater than any beast in the forest and the value of experience is overrated, usually by old men who nod wisely and speak stupidly.”
Is this not a truth, each an every day we wake up, some with a fantastic morning routine, others with yesterday’s chaos still on their minds. If you wake up and declare that you are beginning a new life today does that not open up a world of possibilities for you?
As you wake up, start your day off with saying ‘thank you’, thank you for a beautiful day, for a family, for a home to live in, for an awesome cup of coffee – you can find SOMETHING to say thank you for, even if it is just breathing. By starting each day as if it is a new life, the positive internal energies CAN escape and lay the foundation to a massively successful day.
Then my chosen excerpt for Scroll I lays close to my heart as it is based on our inborn intuitive ability. That KNOWINGNESS, that natural instinct applied to every thought and action we have, that goes beyond any other living form. This allows us to make decisions and act without “the weight of unnecessary knowledge or the handicap of meaningless experience“. Often we do our best PURELY driven by instinct, NOT desire, NOT passion, just pure RAW INSTINCT.
Maybe you are starting a new diet, job, relationship, can you imagine the internal strength you will feel if you say with enthusiasm, TODAY, I begin a NEW diet/job/relationship!!! But say it with unbridled emotion, let it go sit on your heart center, on your chest, let it bring tears to your eyes, one simple sentence could invoke joy, which can lead to action and eventually success.
Truth 2 “The Scroll Marked II” “I will greet this day with love in my heart” – Could be, I will greet this day with love in my heart and a positive mental attitude about my diet.
Question yourself: Why will I greet this day with love in my heart [staying positive about my diet along the way]?
Excerpt: “And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkle my brow, bring a smile to my lips, and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened”
Have you ever, without a moment’s hesitation given a stranger the biggest sincerest smile you have? Have you felt how oddly good it feels WITHIN? And have you noticed that generally the stranger cannot help BUT to smile back? Now, add to that, the thought of I Love You… Og Mandino gives the perfect recipe to giving love to others AND TO YOURSELF!I can literally hear my inner goddess squealing with glee as I perform the action above. In need of healing? Tried of affirmations? Saying them till you go blue in the face? Start by loving yourself first, try this out, you may just be surprised… and hands down, my favorite scroll, for without love, how do we do anything?
Truth 3 “The Scroll Marked III” “I will persist until I succeed” – Could be, I will persist until I succeed on my diet to better health.
Question yourself: Why will I persist [on my diet] until I succeed?
Excerpt: “The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies unless I turn the corner. Always will I take another step. If there is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.”
Truth? There is always a journey associated. We tend to see the gold medal winners and think how great it would be to be them? They have gone through their trials and tribulations, hard work, sweat and tears for that one moment of wearing the gold medal. It only comes down to that persistence, no matter where on your journey you may be, persistence is always required. Somebody may ask how to be persistent, how to carry on? I see it like this, if you are passionate about what you have tackled, be it a diet or a job, if you have an absolute desire, you will stay persistent by finding inspired dissatisfaction, something which keeps you moving forward! If not, you may be on the wrong journey…
Truth 4 “The Scroll Marked IV” “I am nature’s greatest miracle” – Could be, I am nature’s greatest miracle and will be supported on my journey.
Question yourself: Why am I natures greatest miracle [receiving such amazing support on my journey]?
Excerpt: “I can accomplish far more than I have, and I will, for why should the miracle which produced me end with my birth? Why can I not extend that miracle to my deeds of today?”
I have read many a book and never have I been confronted with a sentence that holds as much TRUTH as this is. I spend time dissecting why we as a human race some seem complacent about where they are and where they are going, that living life is a process of following A – Z. This Og Mandino sentence alone says we should be reaching for more, accomplishing more, purely based on the fact that we are ALL walking MIRACLES. Now I am not saying we need to chase for more, as I do believe by just BEING we are achieving, we are tuning into our existing energies, collaborating with ‘all that is’ to create our miracles tiny as they may be (I mean, breathing can be fairly complicated if you look into the science as we know it). If we all had to realize the miracles we were, what would be possible? I for sure feel nothing will be impossible if that scroll/truth was a sentence our children were taught at school.
Truth 5 “The Scroll Marked V” “I will live this day as if it is my last” – Could be, I will live this day as if it is my last need for a diet ever again!
Question yourself: Why do I live this day as if it is my last [need for a diet every again]?
Excerpt: “This day I will make the best day of my life. This day I will drink every minute to its full. I will savor its taste and give thanks. I will maketh every hour count and each minute I will trade only for some of value.”
Being present is one of the greatest virtues to have.
I sit engrossed in a story my daughter shares, valuing every bit of detail from the words she utters to the expression on her face as the story unfolds, for I KNOW, in an instant that ‘time’ is lost, history… as she rushes off on a new adventure. PAUSE for crying out loud, listen, take it in, feel the energy of the moment, for it is MORE THAN WORDS or actions, it is time passing us by, NEVER to return again.
Nurture a sense of appreciation, a beingness, a presence that stretches time.
Life is now, it cannot exist in the past and it has no definite future. Only now. Make it count. Eckhart Tolle explains it beautifully in his book “The Power of Now” if you feel the need to get to grips with NOW read it.
Truth 6 “The Scroll Marked VI” “Today I will be the master of my emotions” – Could be, Today, I will be the master of my emotions as I have made perfect nourishment choices, keeping my body and mind balanced.
Question yourself: Why will I master my emotions [and have perfect nourishment keeping my body and mind in balance]?
Excerpt: “Each day, when I awaken, I will follow this plan of battle before I am captured by the forces of sadness, self-pity and failure- If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labor. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. if I feel incompetent I will remember past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.”
There is always something BETTER, brighter, more positive to reach for, something or someone to hold close, a better habit, a better thought, something to be GRATEFUL for. I work on the process of ‘WHAT IF UP‘, the UP being a positive step up from whatever crisis or event faces me. I may be facing a stressful meeting, feeling in my gut that it will possibly be tough to face a person, I immediately say ‘what if this is the best conversation ever had!?’ as an example, immediately my energy is better and chances are I DO have the BEST conversation ever.
Truth 7 “The Scroll Marked VII” “I will laugh at the world” – Could be, I will laugh at the world today as I am in control of my health.
Question yourself: Why will I laugh at the world [and be in control of my health today]?
Excerpt: “Henceforth I will cultivate the habit of laughter. I will smile and my digestion will improve; I will chuckle and my burdens will be lightened; I will laugh and my life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life and now it is mine.
What is in a smile and a laugh? Good health spreads from that smile and laugh downwards in your body and outwards, it permeates every cell and microorganism of your being. Yes, when I read this scroll/truth, I may have first thought that it is not necessarily polite to laugh at the world, and then I got it… Besides the feel-good endorphins it releases, it protects your heart health and builds your immunity… all that is found in a good laugh! Read up on the need for a good laugh – I am all sorts of serious so this was a benefit for me in more ways than just a smile.
Truth 8 “The Scroll Marked VIII” “Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold” – Could be, Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold for I now have the energy!
Question yourself: Why will I multiply my value a hundredfold today [with amazing energy]?
Excerpt: “Today I will surpass every action which I performed yesterday. I will climb today’s mountain to the utmost of my ability yet tomorrow I will climb higher than today, and the next will be higher than tomorrow. To surpass the deeds of others is unimportant; to surpass my own deeds is all.”
Our only true competition in life is ourselves. If we live a life of expression and reach to be the perfect expression, a human being on planet earth (which by the way is exactly as we were at birth), then all we need to be concerned about is when we look into a mirror, being able to love who you see, when we get into bed at night, being able to close our eyes and go to sleep at peace and with ease. We are our only competition, there is only one of us on planet earth and only we as individuals can be the best of what we can be. It becomes OUR CHOICE, after all, life does not happen TO US, but FOR US.
Truth 9 “The Scroll Marked IX” “I will act now” – Could be, I will act now as I am worth it.
Question yourself: Why will I act now [with the knowledge that I am worth it]?
Excerpt: “I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of mind. Lest I act I will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights.”
Faith can move a mountain, but don’t forget to bring a spade. Can this be seen as not having faith? I don’t think so. I believe life is a good game of tennis, firstly you need to show up at the court, have a partner, a game plan, ability, conviction, and a desire to have fun. Then as you serve your ball to your partner they are not going to throw a banana back at you, chances are they will return the SAME tennis ball back to you or there will be no game to play. Life kinda works that way too. By acting NOW a certain sense of spirit, an energy attaches to the action and a lot can be accomplished.
Truth 10 “The Scroll Marked X” “Today I will pray for guidance” – Could be; Today I will pray for guidance on my journey to better health.
Question yourself: Why will I pray for guidance today [as I journey to better health]?
Excerpt: “The guidance I seek may come, or the guidance I seek may not come, but are not both of these an answer?”
Now there is a beautiful prayer at the end of this book in Scroll 10 or the final of the 10 TRUTHS. The basics of it are to pray for guidance. Now, you may meditate instead of prayer, either way, that quiet time can be soul nurturing and I find it a perfect time to listen to the messages being sent to me. GUIDANCE, the word, is used frequently alongside assurance and encouragement. Each of us, on our personal life journeys, will experience an advantage along the way if guidance is received. You may have to pray, meditate or just soundboard with a close friend, mentor or coach. In whichever way you find success, DO IT.
This book, these scrolls, the 10 Truths of life, if taken not only as some whimsical self-development process but taken to heart and integrated into your everyday life, can be impactful. I am eternally grateful to a man like Og Mandino who shared these beautiful words as they truly have had an impact on my life.
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