In a heartbeat, we decide to drop the excess weight, we choose our regulated diet and start unencumbered with our eyes on the prize… so our WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY begins.
Personally, I have started and stopped this journey innumerable times… The most fat I ever removed was 40kgs and with every kilogram removed from the scale, my confidence and self-esteem improved. One problem with the journey, in the process of the journey, using my body as a learning device did not apply. With that said, the scale number climbed back up and over making me take on this journey over and over again… We have the tendency to focus so HEAVILY on the prize of that magic number that in the process we do not GROW INTO our very own skins and ‘relearn’ love of self. YES, once we did indeed love ourselves.
Let me continue the story, within these journeys, there are many who either give up or gain the bulge once again. The backlash of this seemingly global phenomenon is the inevitable BLAME of the chosen regulated diet or the miscreated belief that we are MEANT TO BE FAT or our bodies have LET US DOWN. All of these beliefs in my mind are incorrect. Only time (and kilograms) has allowed this knowledge and understanding to come into the light for me.
Let us start with the blame of the chosen regulated diet. I have made mention of this before. In a world where we reach for anything externally to right the wrongs we see internally, we have the tendency to take on a ‘recommended regulated diet’ at a drop of a hat, whether it is a diet that suits us has a shocking lack of relevance. It may be a friend, a family member or a well-branded advertising strategy that attracts us to the MAGIC SOLUTION to the elimination of our muffin tops. When on earth do we put ourselves IN THIS JOURNEY besides the ‘MONDAY‘ we choose to start? It is never starting the whimsical choice in the regulated diet that is the challenge, it is rather HOW we choose the regulated diet and prepare for what is to come.
When you choose a specific regulated diet start with:
YOUR UNDERSTANDING of what you are CAPABLE of – which is ANYTHING you put your mind to.
YOUR SPIRITUAL LOVE OF SELF.
Let us take each of these topics to heart.
Starting with YOU. If we start with the principle that thoughts become things then our point of departure is to THINK well of ourselves, to see ourselves as perfect beings, yes, we are. No matter where we find ourselves, (specifically speaking of our weight and the present possible distaste we have for our bodies) it is as it is, if we dwell on the obvious, and judge ourselves for it, we are likely to get STUCK in that mindset, fearing moving forward. And, as we judge it, we perpetuate that feeling of low self-esteem into our future. Think about it, when something does not go according to plan, we say “What next!!?” expecting more challenges, lone behold, we receive extra challenges along the way. Or my favorite, “Things happen in threes” and then wait with bated breath for the rest of the sh*t to hit the fan. The same can be said for every thought of judgment we hold against ourselves, whether they be positive or negative, where we place our faith, that is what we will encounter. So, regardless of where you find YOU right now in the present, accept yourself, praise your courage to take on a life transformational journey and set the intention of success through ONLY self-love on your path. Watch as every day proceeds in a manner in which YOU have started it. To start your day, say as an example ‘Thank you for this glorious day, in this perfect body, mind, and soul, I am truly the luckiest person alive, deserving and loved’. Now this may sound a little selfish and self-serving, but if you do not see yourself as a perfect gift, loved beyond measure, how then are we able to see others in the same light and GROW in love of ourselves. This is an impactful part of your journey as without LEARNING to TRULY LOVE yourself along the way, chances are you will return to self-loathing and muffin top status again. Focus in on YOUR PRESENT state of affairs, acknowledge and accept it, do reflect that this ‘body’ is not the ‘truth’, it is only a reflection and that on your journey of transformation you will have the ability to establish a more wholesome truth within which will reflect the perfect YOU. It is not your body that makes mistakes or takes on bulges with ease, it is our minds that use the body as a vehicle for learning, sometimes we learn a little heavily.
The second point, YOUR LIFESTYLE; this is paramount for success on your journey. We choose our regulated diet regardless of our current lifestyle. Many have crossed my threshold and stated the obvious [not always the truth] “I just need to take on a ‘different’ lifestyle to keep the weight off”. Start where you are and work towards change. Once again, by acknowledging your current habits, positive or negative the choice of a regulated diet becomes easier. You may have all the time in the world, then meal planning, weighing and prepping will not be a struggle, then choosing a diet accordingly will be the better choice. You may be a salesperson, on the run with a family you only see in the evenings, then having prepared meal replacements may be a better choice. First, assess your CURRENT lifestyle before pledging allegiance to a totally NEW LIFESTYLE. Along your way, in your journey, you can steadily include excellent habitual changes that allow you to step into a healthier way of life. But declaring a 360 degree turn into a new lifestyle is extremely intimidating, after all, we tend to GO BACK to familiar and AWAY from the unfamiliar. Stick to the recipe you have currently and slightly alter it over time to embrace a healthier way of life. When your brain hears you have plans for a complete lifestyle change, the fight or flight kicks into gear!
Next, we take on YOUR UNDERSTANDING [clearly not that great if we find ourselves fighting fat on a continuous basis]. When choosing a regulated diet keep your ears turned away from speculation, naysayers, and false evidence appearing real [FEAR]. Instill self-belief. Do your OWN investigation, but refrain from over intellectualization, and follow your GUT in the process, see the truth which stems firstly from how you feel about the choice you make. I find in desperation, we tend to reach for desperate attempts at rectifying the waistline. The more uneasy you feel with the choice, the more likely it is the incorrect choice for YOU. Do not doubt yourself, your decision if you follow your guidance system will be perfect for YOU!
Finally, YOUR SPIRITUAL LOVE OF SELF, one concept which when grasped will ‘move’ you from the feeling of lack to the wisdom of wholeness. As mentioned above, if we start with the understanding that thoughts create things, we will be mindful of every thought we think. What happens if we start that process before the thought itself? What happens if we understand the truth of who we are, perfect beings, created perfect by Perfect, will this alone not influence the ‘level’ of our thoughts. With this in mind, will we not embrace self-love to its highest degree? If we grasp that the opposite of love is fear and that that which is all-encompassing, i.e. love, will be the cause for there to be no fear. If we start there, with full acknowledgment of self-love and with it love of others, there is no fear. Why am I placing fear as an important aspect of a transformational journey you may be asking? Well, generally we take on these journeys based on a ‘lack of’ be it health, a great waistline, the body we ‘used’ to have etc. which in turn is driven by fear, fear of ill health, fear of not fitting into clothes by the time of a certain event, and so I can go on. We may not coin it as fear, but at its basic element, it is such. By identifying with love for ourselves, we could also acknowledge that we lack NOTHING, that there is no vacuum within, nothing broken to be fixed and by golly you will step out each day with a light in your eye and a knowingness in your heart that you are capable of ANYTHING and your WILL to succeed will not be driven on vanity or an event but rather on the self-love and understanding of perfection and purity within. When we grasp this understanding, we cannot possibly think that we are ‘meant to be fat’ or that our bodies ‘failed us’ as this does NOT EXIST. It is not the TRUTH. If we grasp these straws we are buying into a mistruth and inevitably chose to live a lie. Some call it cognitive dissonance, [This refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors. … For example, when people smoke or eat badly (behavior) and they know that smoking causes cancer and poor food choices lead to health issues (cognition), but still do so regardless, they are in a state of cognitive dissonance.], I refer to it as wrong mindedness. Purely not seeing the truth.
Reach for self-love as you journey in weight loss progresses. Make it your ultimate aim over and above the magical figure you wish to see on the scale, with that self-love you will get to exactly the position you wish to be in and stay there. Most likely if you embrace the journey as one of love instead of body loathing, your true self will thank you by never having to take on a journey of similar proportions again.
We all know the phrase; HAPPINESS is an INSIDE job? And that phrase makes it sound simple right?
If however, you came from the era (that would be my era, like the ’80s), that required that you must “Put a smile on THAT dial!!” and “Do what needs to be done” then that inside job may not have been that easy. But, I am extremely happy to move forward with time, that being said, I wholeheartedly support the fact that HAPPINESS is an inside job.
Maybe one of my reasons for support for this is my understanding that our thoughts create things. And if we want a MISERABLE life (which some say they don’t but do try to create it by the miserable thoughts they think), all we need to do is think about hardship and lack of. But the opposite of this is true too!! AND THAT IS EXCITING! If you want an AWESOME life… well get to happy thoughts AND QUICK!
Like all things that are too good to be true in life, there is a catch… scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences have revealed that we do make our decisions have our thoughts subconsciously 6 to 7 seconds before acting them out. This is where understanding the subconscious, in my opinion, is valid to our living our life of bliss and happiness, after all if happiness is the new ROI then surely we need to have a real in-depth friendship (BFF for the younger peeps) with our subconscious mind?
LET US MAKE FRIENDS WITH OUR NEW SUREFIRE WAY TO HAPPINESS AS A ROI – OUR SUBCONSCIOUS
Every single day from the time you were born your subconscious has absorbed and integrated every parcel of information supplied by all your senses, you are truly a walking supercomputer with volumes of TB drives. To most this information is unconscious, a world away, but with exceptional hypnotherapy, you could do magically in recalling the information you wish to. And…. if that is the case, maybe you could also start influencing that information to create a happier happiness.
So why do we store all this ‘senseless‘ information? We are at heart still neanderthal, with heightened senses they did not only hunt better, but they sensed danger and were prepared for anything that came their way. It was indeed all about SURVIVAL. In my opinion, we have such a supercomputer in store as our subconscious purely to keep us safe and secure. To handle all the sensory information, to dice it up and serve it in good order for our conscious mind to ‘think‘ and know to the best of its ability, it has made the decision.
These days, living in a ‘normal’ community, we have little need to go into fight or flight action, some do, but for me, that is not a concern. So how do I make the best use of this sensory overload, how do I make my subconscious (who if you recall makes decisions before I even act on them) work FOR ME? How do I ensure that my thoughts are happiest, that I indeed have a maximum ROI?
7 WAYS TO HAPPIEST HAPPY ROI AND A NEW BFF.
This is a starting point for sure. Now, generally speaking, I do find some
affirmations make my conscious mind go
“whahaahahahahahah NOOOOO WAYYYYYY!!!!!!”
so picking these beauties are important. One of my favorite way of handling affirmations was promoted by Paula Llanguth Ryan, she works by pre wording the sentence with “I see myself…“. This I found extremely powerful, sometimes what we want seems so far off that it is easier to believe it if you see yourself with it. An example would be a normal affirmation is:
“I am a perfect size and full of health and vibrancy.”
“I see myself at a perfect size and full of health and vibrancy.“
If you are looking for affirmations, feel free to check out my Pinterest link for that – then edit the affirmations by adding “I see myself…”
My all-time favorite. This is an undercover affirmation jam-packed with positive emotions. If we find something new DAILY to be grateful for chances are we will start noticing a shift in our lives. I prefer not to keep these to myself. I share my gratitudes, a journal is NOT ENOUGH. VERBALISE IT! SAY IT OUT LOUD WITH ENTHUSIASM to your friends family and loved ones. Start a gratitude group, hearing others gratitude adds to your world, trust me. Get your children involved, the sooner the better. Mine do 3 gratitudes on the way to school EVERY day…
The universe loves a grateful heart and will send you a TON more to be grateful for… Do you see, HAPPINESS IS GOING UP!
3. READ RIGHT
I watch daily as people scrutinize what children are watching on TV, my greatest concern is our children seem to have lost the art of reading. And, reading great books at that. I am beyond excitement at the thought that I can get an entire lifetime of one person’s thoughts between 2 covers…
The average person reads 2 to 4 books per year, CEO’s close on 4 to 6 a month. Now, please, I am not saying become a book worm, but do yourself a favor… check out the top books of all time, treat it like a bucket list, and get to read them. If you are into fiction (a no no for a nerdy like me… few and far between) but here is a recommended list. https://www.listchallenges.com/business-insider-100-books-everyone-should
If you are however into business books, this may be your choice as it is mine for sure, then this is YOUR link.
4. WHO ARE YOU TALKING and LISTENING TO?
If you are talking to the naysayers, turn around and run in the opposite direction. We are broadcasting and receiving stations, remember I mentioned that our subconscious is SUCKING IN ALL THE INFORMATION via our powerful senses… why oh why to surround yourself with negativity if you want a positive foundation in thought??? If, for some reason, you only have a bunch of negative people/friends/family around you… FIND NEW ONES!!! (Sorry family…). The sad fact of life is we are the average of the 7 people we hang out with. Trust me, it is worth rather spending time with that top 100 book list than hanging with the doom and gloom of life. Been there, done that, NEVER got no friggen T-shirt, I wonder why!?
Another piece of advice, there are some amazing podcasts out there… find one, and tune into awesome positive vibes.
Let me mention meditation here, if your negative mind chatter is on the extreme, maybe a guided meditation is a great option for you. There are some marvelous options with Eldon Taylor from Innertalk for guided hypnotic meditations.
5. WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?
Uhhhhh… nearly nothing? or EVERYTHING? I explained to my child the other day that what you see, cannot be unseen, good or bad, traumatic or easy over, we remember it all once it has passed the eyeballs and hit the frontal lobe. Choose wisely. Make sure there is some happy go lucky imagery there!
6. HYPNO WHAT-WHAT?
Time to dig deep, you want your subconscious to be happy? Time to take off the gloves and dive in. With hypnotherapy, you are NOT falling asleep as some say it HEIGHTENS your awareness and allows you to separate the rubbish from the truth we keep living. This is a powerful way to clear channels between the conscious and the subconscious mind AND possibly sort out that baggage we carry around causing a couple of energy disputes in our body. Interested, then follow this link for a fabulousFREE download to help start the process.
7. SUBLIMINALS, THE TRUE BFF OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS
Let me start by saying, your subconscious believes EVERYTHING YOU THINK AND SAY TO IT! AND IT INVITES THAT IN BY THE BUCKET LOADS, GOOD OR BAD! If you find you are running a current of negativity in thought, actions and stuff happening to you, that is YOU… not the bad driver in front of you, or the fast asleep cashier, it is YOU and only YOU, start changing the current!
Now here I hear ‘woe be me‘ – “How can I help that this all happens to ME!???”. If you are so far down the dark alley without a paddle to get out… get on to those Subliminals, they are the bomb! I will forever recommend Eldon Taylor from Innertalk for the nerdy science backing his work.
What is wonderful about these is that your subconscious is
so busy coordinating your body temperature, your breathing, your heart rate,
etc. that when you have lovely music going in the background with Subliminals
of how energetic and healthy you are, your subconscious cannot do anything but
These 7 subby hacks allow you to reprogram your subconscious mind, this will help you reach happiness, believe in yourself that little bit more and think positively, it is a win-win situation! Tune into your subconscious, truly become it’s BFF, I am not kidding.
Chun Siong Soon, Marcel Brass, Hans-Jochen Heinze &
John-Dylan Haynes, “Unconscious Determinants of Free Decisions in the Human
Brain.” Nature Neuroscience, April 13th, 2008.
Ever attempted to ‘search’ for a fat loss diet on Google? Here are 3 easy tips on what-to-do and what-not-to-do.
We all reach critical milestones in our lives, where the desire to shed some unrequired bodily heat pads comes up. Fat loss diet to the rescue! At this very moment, we tend to ponder, for a BRIEF moment, on what ‘diet’ will work for me THIS TIME? ‘Ponder’ and ‘brief’ to be taken literally please, for I have found (and this includes myself) that the thought process could take anything form a split second (as we stare at ourselves in a mirror) to the time it takes us to force ourselves into a size 12 when for that matter it should be a size 16… It may be at this point where our ego blatantly fires at us; “You fat, you need to lose weight!” and the first thing we reach for in our minds is; what is the ‘latest diet’? And where would that be found? GOOGLE… the house of all-knowing, wisdom and clarity to help enforce the correct fat loss diet choice… after all, our friends may be tired of our dieting sprees and giving us advice which we DON’T FOLLOW…
Let me explain the quagmire of the Google toilet and why this could be the exact action we should NOT TAKE.
The number of results that came up when I typed into Google; “Fat loss diet” on this very day was ‘About 281 000 000 results (0,51 seconds)’ and if we wanted to lose weight (regardless if it is water, bone, muscle or tissue) we could use a different broad search, which I did, I typed “Weight loss” and got ‘About 900 000 000 results (0,70 seconds)’.
Now yes, one of the tips I can give is to be specific about your search, decide if you want to find a diet which is keto, or juicing, or paleo before searching, common sense right? Maybe not so, you may be ‘that individual’ that prayerfully takes on Google hoping, wishing, wanting ‘it’ to find the right answer for you as you are PAST KNOWING WHAT TO DO!? If this sounds right, you are truly a seasoned dieter and would not have been put off by the zeros following 281 or 900 in your search on Google.
So, I have decided to help all the prayerful types out there, desperate to have direction in diet choices, with a couple of TIPS:
1. DO PAUSE, TAKE STOCK BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISION
Reflect for a moment on yourself. AND get out a journal – preferably old fashioned handwritten!!! Answer these questions by WRITING DOWN THE ANSWERS, why? Trust me, when you are a week into your diet and weekend arrives you will need to remind yourself why you started in the first place… Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers:
Has this been a gradual or sudden increase in weight? If the rush for a fat loss diet seems extreme, assess if the weight gain was sudden, it may be a health issue that needs investigating, or it may be emotions like stress, anger, grief that need resolving (for once you have forced your body to lose the fat the stress may help you put it all back on again). It may be a lack of sleep, which can result in weight gain.
What diet will fit my lifestyle? PLEASE refrain from overhauling your lifestyle to fit your diet, rather allow your diet to fit your lifestyle as best possible. I have seen people swear on a loved one (oh dear!!) that NOW is the time that their lifestyle WILL change!! 6 months down the line they are back to their previous lifestyle, this is like trying to change your fingerprint! A good example is if you LOVE a good healthy hearty breakfast and generally scale down on food intake through the day then why chose a diet that requires fasting at breakfast as the guideline?
What is my current health status? Yes, it has a lot to do with it. If for example, you are obese, could you take on a diet that requires vast amounts of exercise daily that may damage joints? If you lack a gallbladder, would you take on a high-fat diet without consulting a doctor? What about hormones? If you are diabetic would you be limited by a diet in which you may only eat 3 times a day causing blood sugar to be thrown out?
Why do I want to COMMIT to a diet now? Truly reflect, is it for yourself, your family, your son or daughter, for health improvement, for fitting into clothes, for confidence? WRITE YOUR REASONS DOWN to remind yourself why you stopped eating junk, why a week down the line when a friend offers you a glass of wine you can say no confidently, without the feeling of deprivation. You NEED to remind yourself! Carry this journal with you so when you do start your diet you can use it as a reminder – trust me you will need it. If you decide to skip this step, do think for a moment, how has NOT writing this down worked out for you in the past?
Identify your GOOD and BAD habits. These are critical. Sometimes your weight gain can purely be you have stopped moving, you may be sitting for long stretches and all you need to really do (instead of scouring Google) is start moving again. Make the list. Focus on keeping good habits in place and decide which of the bad habits you would like to boot. DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF AND CRITICIZE! My only advice is to take them on one at a time, do not try to go on diet and stop smoking simultaneously… something or someone may suffer as a result. Look, this is YOUR journey of life, only you have the choice as to how you want to live it, if it is a vibrantly healthy life you want to commit to, ditch the bad habits one at a time. The place to start; acknowledge them by writing them down and commit to a timeline that allows you to scratch them off the list.
How and what do I LIKE to eat? This is a VERY IMPORTANT question. And, please be reasonable, you cannot expect to lose weight on a junk food diet, if that is your favorite food, which got you in a tiss when forcing on the size 12’s in the first place.
It is human to stick to what is familiar, go and read up on the basics of the Pareto principle, we generally follow the same habits that cause the results we get, we eat the same food type (20% of the choice available) 80% of the time. So why on earth will you incorporate any choices in a diet which is not familiar to your everyday choices? A good example: let us say you love fruit, it currently forms part of your daily intake, the diet you chose eliminates fruit and allows it once a week, how will you cope? Some say dieting requires SACRIFICE – that is pure deprivation in my mind and the ‘skinny bitch’ (Yup, she is there) in me screams retribution when limitations are imposed – rightly so. Truly, there are enough choices (millions in fact) that will fit your current lifestyle. There will be limitations based on dietary guidelines to ensure you lose weight but none of these limitations should cause you tohate waking up in the morning! Life is too short to add further stress to it, dieting is NOT punishment.
2. DO YOUR RESEARCH – CONFIDENTLY
After answering the questions mentioned in item 1 above, now it is time to open up Google and type in your relevant and SPECIFIC diet search.
You have spent the time understanding and clarifying why and how you need to diet besides the size 12’s. Now, after assessing that you do need to be on a diet, you can search Google for example, with the following self-determined parameters;
*limited exercise requirements (time may be an issue),
*balanced intake (gallbladder is missing and you generally eat from all food groups),
*no juicing and shakes please (I have to chew),
you can confidently start searching. You may, for example, enter the following into the search line:
Yes, it is still a massive amount to wade through, but you are now making an empowered choice, you have truly taken the power back, it is now YOU who set the parameters, these parameters can now be used to make your choice confidently, you know exactly what you LIKE and DISLIKE, what you can do to make a success of dieting rather than failing miserably.
3. YOU WERE BORN ALL KNOWING, MADE PERFECT BY PERFECT
Possibly my favorite thought process. My very best friend always says to me, “If you are fat, you know EXACTLY WHY you are fat, it is intuitive, you just KNOW“. And why is that? Well, I believe we are made perfect by perfect and the more we tune into our inner guidance system, the more chance we have of knowing EXACTLY the cause of our weight gain. So too, the more we tune in and draw close to our internal guidance system the more energy and love will flow UNCONDITIONALLY, not only to others but to OURSELVES!
Surprisingly, sometimes (most often) it is NOT JUST food or LACK OF EXERCISING or HEALTH issues that cause weight gain – sometimes it is purely our blocks in energy and love. Broad statement but let me explain.
Have you ever been in a stressful situation or an emotionally abusive situation or in an unloving situation? Oftentimes food is used as a protective measure OR to fill a void, for we have not necessarily learned how to love ourselves into wholeness. Sounds like oversimplification right? Not for me, the lack we feel in not ‘being enough‘ is soul-destroying, a void is created and nature abhors a vacuum, she politely helps by filling it; food being the obvious choice. What mother has not offered a child a sweetie when the tears are flowing (yes, I know, moms these days know that is the incorrect approach, in my day however it was not so)?.
Besides lacking love, the energy blocks can hurt even more… created by unmet expectations, these little traumas are impactful. Ever needed to go for an injection and in the situation you find yourself flinching? That is an energy block explained right there… that hold, that expectation of the worst impact. Now the sad thing is, the more we hold on to that flinch status, the more we expect the worst – nothing changes and acceptance steps in. It now becomes familiar and then a reality, an energy block. How to deal with it? There are many ways, and sometimes it is a hit and miss along your personal life journey. Deepak Chopra is someone who addresses this and has an interesting article for you to start with – I will be blogging on this at some stage too. The other option is to work with your own personal ‘inner talk’ in self healing, try this link out with easy to use subliminals playing in the back ground, making use of science to do some of the work for you.
So, before you fly on to Google and search what is the best diet, decide to start loving yourself more. HOW is always a good question as many people would find that ‘selfish’, ‘self-absorbed’ or ‘egotistical’, I would say that you can only share from your own cup if it has something ‘in it’. In fact, do you recall (and I would really like to remind you!) the first time you were ‘in love’, maybe besotted with an individual, felt butterflies and confessed undying love to anyone? Or do you recall having and holding your children after they were born and feeling that ABSOLUTE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE flow through you?
YOU NEEDED NOTHING ELSE… let me say that again…
YOU NEEDED NOTHING ELSE!
My advice would be as follows, 2 tasks daily (in conjunction with your diet) to be done on your own and if you have a blessing called family, include them in one or both of the items for sure.
Firstly, start a gratitude diary – daily, write down 3 NEW gratitudes. Yes, do not repeat the same ones every day, LOOK carefully at your life, at you and note the blessings. This is something the family can get involved in. En route to school I ask both my children to verbalise their 3 gratitudes for the day and they love it. Eventually they remind me! If this seems like effort, never letting go of fat is more strenuous. Sometimes just embracing love and gratitude in your life can assist you in releasing fat!
Secondly, start FORGIVING, every day. Who must you forgive? Well, EVERYBODY, past present and future… really give this one some thought. When I started doing this, I felt there was not much forgiving to do, but there is. Look for one forgiveness a day and include YOURSELF every day. You forgive PEOPLE and SITUATIONS past present and future – remove the bonds that exist, send them/it off to their good quickly and in peace. (Do you have to agree, approve, like the person or situation by forgiving them? Not at all, but LET THEM GO). Forgive YOURSELF! And mean it. Now some may say that they are only kind to themselves and do not need forgiveness. Maybe so, sometimes however, when we ‘listen’ closely we will hear the negative thoughts we shower on ourselves daily – do forgive yourself regardless. You never know, you may have really hacked off someone in the traffic today!
What on earth has this got to do with our search on Google? Well, it allows us to approach a diet choice holistically, body, mind and soul. The reason why we are ONCE AGAIN searching Google for diets, IS because we possibly didn’t soul search before!!?
To end this off, a thought, I realize that sometimes we are so busy looking for the forest that we miss the trees. People worldwide are so busy searching for fat loss and weight loss, quick fixes, anything to ‘change’ [sic] ourselves that we sometimes miss the crucks of the issue. I believe that one of the primary reasons for weight gain IS self-esteem issues, lack of self-love, etc. Should we not rather start there? I decided to research it, the volume returned on the search term self-esteem: ‘About 64 700 000 results (0,64 seconds)’. This is close to 4 times fewer results than ‘fat loss’, maybe our Google search for diets should start with ‘how to love me’, embracing a healthier mind and then we can go about embracing a healthier body?
“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”- Yogi Berra
I have had the pleasure of a fairly deep conversation not just once but three times about how we as individuals reach for more and cope doing it. My thought process always centered around achieving absolute ‘EASE’ in my life.
Exactly 7 years ago, if you asked me what it was I wanted, most likely I would have focused on world travel, success, lots of money, big houses and flashy cars. I am now absolutely sure that my journey in life prepared me to get to the point of focusing purely on ‘ease’ – I realized that when I spent time un – eased, it lead to dis|ease, and the route I followed, had everything to do with it.
There exists absolute gratitude within me for getting to this point in my life. Some people may say that my desire or ambition has been cramped, well, I can say, I am now actively busy with setting up a training project which I am passionate about, I blog daily – a conversation I enjoy even if it is only with myself, work on my nutritional business, and have time with my 2 beautiful children.
For me that sounds close to fantastic, but the realization is that there is still a lot more work to be done to enable complete ease in my life.
2 Decisions made
This ease within my life was one of my conversations I had this week, we spoke of how to cope with the demands of daily life, how NOT to get anxious or worried. Firstly, make a promise to yourself to refrain from making any decisions based on fear or worry, as this changes from decisions made as a result of fear and worry about being chased by fear and worry. Secondly, prevent yourself from taking control of EVERYTHING that comes your way, sometimes you really need to let things GO AND FOLLOW YOUR GUT. If you are passionate about what you do, (there are few people my age who are fortunate to have such a blessing) then the bling and the dollars will be downstream. I have ALWAYS believed that.
If we allow our emotions to dwarf our intellect, our heart to rule our heads just for a little bit, the universe conspires to align success for you. That and a little bit of positive attitude and self-belief works wonders, a tool I subscribe to I mentioned in a previous blog regarding a positive mental diet: https://youinsideout.org/everything-and-more-not-just-enough/.
The tough part is this. We choose a journey within our greater journey, we walk it, determined to make money, to get the shiny car, (specifically a Mustang ’69, black, beautiful all road domineering car)… slowly we start becoming UNeasy, not as driven, based on the continuous work for money mentality we find ourselves in.
“Even if you win the rat race, you still a rat”
Then we convince ourselves that THIS IS THE ONLY WAY, KEEP GOING, DON’T GIVE UP! Before we know it, we end up close to 60 with a retirement plan that is not sufficient, a possible dis | ease or 2 lurking within our bodies due to stress and poor lifestyle and start wondering about that passion project we forgot about when we took the fork in the road on our journey. And to put the final nail in the coffin, we convince ourselves that we are ‘lucky‘ to have lived such a full and expressive life with our wonderful families, after all, there are people starving all over the world. – Close to broke, not being able to retire, and little to no time spent with our nearest and dearest, we cop out.
I say, live your bliss, be at EASE, make a little less money, not live in the biggest house for now, trust me if you chase love, joy, peace, fulfillment, ease and all those uplifting feelings, THE REST WILL FOLLOW! I assume that many will tell me to sniff the roses, and I DO THANK YOU, I am 100% knowledgeable of the blessings in every day and what i have to be grateful for as MANY are not as fortunate. My first 20 years of working life was a shocker when it came to smelling any roses in fact it was a bit of a stencher, and if I have learnt something from it and something which I pass on to any child who has time with me it is this.
My take on us and the simple life
Be selfish, satisfy yourself first, for if you do , you WILL learn to serve many with a full cup of your own,
Be a perfect expression of God’s/Universe/Source Energys breath on this planet earth as you were born perfect, made perfect by perfect to live perfect,
Finally, live in ease – it is a BIG word packed in a small space, for if you live in ease and have gratitude; say thank you, you are most likely following your bliss and life is good.
I wish for you to embrace the understanding that you are everything and more.
I remember as a child, I truly felt that love made the world go round (do check my previous post), and my greatest wish was to hear from somebody, anybody that I was everything and more… not just enough, now, I don’t think that I am strange or unusual – though some may, in fact, classify me as the unusual which I will embrace any day – I do think that being told that as an individual allows a warm fuzzy feeling to settle over your heart.
Progress a few years down the line, I read so often how self-esteem issues are primary causes of heartache and despair and I had to pause and reflect to determine if this societal outbreak was in my camp too. Quite honestly, I had my fair share of heartache and despair…
My plan of action was as follows, I slowly started taking more notice of the voice in my head and the messages I was hearing, please note I do not have split personalities, I am however investigative and am very good at being self aware when required. Now, on a daily basis I have always classified myself as optimistic, but then I paused and started listening, carefully to that inner voice… and my word, I needed a new voice! With that in mind, I set out on the “Positive Mental Diet“, a thought process discussed in great detail by people such as Neville Goddard, Brian Tracey to mention a few. If every you have been on a physical diet, I can say, that is EASY in comparison to this little puppy. I have not only done it once but a couple of times in my life, in fact I motivate many to do it as it is truly one way of not just feeling enough as an individual but everything and more.
This is the process:
Firstly: what is negative to ensure clarity? Any thought, action, or out loud verbal grunt groan complaint or gossiping is classified as negative. If you dwell, think, act on negativity such as failure, a bad smell in the air, criticism just received, envy or condemn yourself or another person, that is negative. Basically, bite your tongue, thoughts and nerve endings.
1. Go easy on yourself, first spend a couple of days, one week would be best to take note of that little inner voice, distance yourself, be honest about it and try catch yourself out, for like me, you may say, “I don’t struggle with negative thoughts, I think only highly of myself…” , do test this thought for the next week.
2. Prepare, I found placing little positive symbols everywhere helped, in my vehicle, my bathroom, my laptop, my kettle and on my fridge, place it where you move, what is interesting there is that it becomes amazing conversation starters as everyone wants to know what this is as after all, it is everywhere. Now you can explain to them how you are driving yourself past just being enough to someone who realises they are everything and more… [what self-esteem issues???]
3. The day you start on this diet, decide length of time, most people are truly courageous and start on 7 days. Wake up on your start day and utter these words FIRST: “Thank you” and “This is going to be a great day and I am the luckiest person alive today!” now just by typing that I felt AMAZING. Try saying it out loud!
4. There are some rules to these 7 days, please do not dwell on negative thoughts, you may acknowledge it but flip it over the minute it enters. Make it playful, inform your family that you are doing this and make it their objective (by the way children love this) to catch you out on a negative utterance. Oh, I forgot to mention, it is not just thoughts, it is the spoken word and actions too! Sounds impossible right?
5. If for some reason Day 1 don’t go so well, and you are ready to burn the wagon, take heart, some people don’t get past the first 5 minutes. It is however the greatest mind process you will take on in your life and worth every effort. Helpful tip: start noticing amazing things, start counting your blessing, notice the clear blue sky, the wonderful sunset, the friendly smile of a passer by, immediately the world starts behaving a bit more positively and conspires to keep good things coming your way. [If this sounds remotely like laws of the mind, it is and it helps to understand them – another topic for another day]
6. This is going to be difficult, and remember this, when we start to feel discomfort at our own thoughts, emotions out play logic by a mile, your mind WILL start advising you that you are wasting your time, it will drive you towards the negative – for old times’ sake, it may even ask you to say something mean or gossip. At this point, carry a little A6 booklet, or take out your mobile, start a Gratitude diary and put down a couple of items to be grateful for, that shuts up the negative committee in your head within a sentence or two.
7. Let us discuss another rule, if you have blundered your way through a day, and note, did not take my advice on starting a gratitude journal or put your sticky positive signs everywhere, well, no stress, you need to start again on Day 1:). You may just take my advice to heart if you reach attempt number 2.
8. You may see this as an impossible task, it may just be, but do attempt it. Get the family involved, each morning to this day, as I drive my children to school or we eat breakfast together, we share out loud 3 gratitude’s each to start our day and I immediately have a great start to my day as they have to theirs.
9. Do not attempt to control your thoughts (we make them 7 seconds before we act on them in any event) just acknowledge them and let them pass or flip them to positive thoughts. Do not attempt to control people and situations around you (or, if you do get that right, DO let me know as that would be AWESOME), remind yourself you chose what you mentally accept and if there is poor behaviour which drives you to the negative try remove yourself from the conversation or work in the space of breathing through it focusing on the positive – if you can bring out the gratitude journal.
10. Finally, keep in mind that we are energy beings, what we push out we generally attract, some people are of the mind that the best way to do this diet is to tell no one that you are doing it, if you have a great group of friends and colleagues it could be fantastic to share it with them. If however you feel challenged in your environment it may be better to keep it close to your heart. What ever your choice may be, I find that the Universe reacts to me as I react to it.
One thing I can say, this is a thought provoking journey, on completion of this, you will be at a greater peace within yourself, without the feeling of self-esteem issues, the best gift in life is to realize that you are everything and more and this can be done and helped along by the 7 day Positive Mental Diet!
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