What is weighing us down?

What is weighing us down?

Ever stood in front of your clothes cupboard being at a loss for words, so too at a loss for clothes none of which are flattering? In an instant, you loathe the choices available but realize that not dressing is also NOT an option… Then you loathe yourself and realize you really need to figure out what is weighing you down?

Now CLEARLY, there is an internal [albeit silent] realization that what is weighing you down IS the extra weight sitting around your hips and all we can do is ask HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???  How DID this excess creep up so unnoticed over the years? Or did we notice it but decided to quietly look the other way? Now, of course, we are all grown-ass individuals and cannot possibly be naive enough to not realize the role we play in our choices and hence the outcome we were heading towards, but human nature prompts us to look for the reasoning behind the fat cells bloating EVERYWHERE else except within.  

This numbing space in life is also fondly referred to as a ‘COMFORT ZONE’ problem with this is that it is exactly the opposite of the truth… There is no comfort in this haze of self-pity and contemplation, it quietly leads to the break down of self-love and self-esteem, day by day, kilogram by kilogram. We truly turn a blind eye to the facts and then face our clothes cupboard daily until we find the strength and courage to drop the excuses and ‘find ourselves’ again [beware the ‘self-help’ gurus, it does start with us and generally ends there too].  

As we leave the question behind “How did this happen?”, we start facing the facts that SOMETHING needs to be done as soon as possible. Let us forget the questions and focus on the answer, right? Some people have the capacity to DO SOMETHING before it gets totally out of control. In my life as a wellness coach, I have crossed many paths with clients who WAIT… AND WAIT... until their deteriorating health starts ticking like a time bomb ready to bring their daily activities to a halt. Some wizened individuals pick up on the tick-tock timeously, preventing the bomb from exploding. This is a fact I have always pondered on, when is enough ENOUGH?  Why is it that some people are SO AWARE of their expanding girth whilst others, me included, got to the point of feeling like a wounded buffalo before taking on the much-required change?

As weight is gained, why do some people see it sooner than later?
As weight is gained, why do some people see it sooner than later?

Reflecting on my childhood, I thought it would be good to start with blaming my parents, [after all, the blame game is something easily played when you cannot understand or get to grips with your personal journey]. Honestly, they struggled with THEIR weight [and health] throughout life, surely that means I should struggle too. Then, their UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of myself and my brother REGARDLESS of our expanding size made us blissfully unaware of our greater than average size. In my office, many conversations later, as one client after another crossed my threshold on to my scale, I started realizing that those children who were brought up in homes KNOWING their weight, being scale aware (but not obsessive) were the ones that arrived at my door with a maximum of 10kgs to drop. And at 10kgs overweight, they were horrified at their size, horrified that they could let themselves get out of control to such an extent. Then there were the others, again, me included, who got to 40kgs on the hefty side and then realized, “oh my shattered nerves, I need to DO SOMETHING!!“. The ones that waited and waited thinking their genes are to blame or their sedentary office job was the reason and nothing could or would change. These are the people, like me, who cannot tell you what they weighed in their teenage years, also the people that were not counseled about the dangers of weight gain, whose parents did not want them to feel body aware… So here is the better question? Being body aware [yes there is a fine line to being obsessive] and keeping a check on your weight to ensure you live a healthy lifestyle to a ripe old age even if here and there you need to pull back the reigns and partake in a regulated diet to drop a dress size, or, those individuals that are oblivious of their Heffalump status based on their parents [yes, parents, including mine did so ONLY lovingly] assuring them that it is not about what you look like but your heart, the individuals who continue to obliviously pack on the kilos until they are red-faced and huffing in front of the doctor who is writing out a prescription for cholesterol tablets. This is where it gets even more interesting, personally, feeling well-loved and accepted as I was, I NEVER saw my size, even years into my then marriage, I was oblivious of my waistline, only the honesty of my then-husband of: “rather NOT!” when I squeezed myself into a bikini made me stop and realize I had a weight issue. Now, NEVER having to deal with such a personal realization resulted in me not knowing how to deal with it AT ALL!  Physically and emotionally I had taken a knock. I did not have the tools to deal with this ‘new space’ I found myself in, and like Eve when she bit into ‘that apple’ my world fell apart slowly but surely. That all-encompassing unconditional love I had felt from my parents now seemed a far cry away from facing the reality of what I was allowing my body to become. Now like Eve, I understood the wrongs and boy did I dig into myself emotionally. When I could not figure it out, it was after all the first time that I was facing such a dilemma, I started looking externally for the possible reasons for my weight gain in the first place, besides blaming the genes. I looked at my lack of physical activity, my poor food choices, my now ex-husband, my plate sizes, the fashion industry and their hand in poor self-esteem [I was far from the model size promoted in magazines and movies after all]. I attacked everything that could remotely have any hand to play in the game of life I was living. After going through diets, gaining weight back again, and starting diets over and over again [on a Monday of course], I shifted to the next stage of “what is weighing me down? -STILL“.

Clearly, if I was continuing to gain weight, drop weight and so on, clearly then I could not keep blaming my parents, blaming society, blaming the diets for I was now informed, enlightened and educated about better health and wellness? What WAS STILL weighing me down???? Why was this a continuous battle? I could not accept that being FAT and FEELING like a wounded buffalo in the process was my life journey, there had to be more to it. It seemed as if I was reliving the nightmare of the bulge over and over again. It was around this point in time that I read something written by Peter F. Drucker, he said, 

Courage, rather than analysis, dictates a truly important rule for identifying priorities. Pick the future against the past. Focus on opportunity rather than on problems, choose your own direction rather than climb on the band wagon and aim high, aim for something that will make a difference, rather than for something that is safe and easy to do.

Up until this point with regards to my weight, I had gone into analysis paralysis about my health and weight, never had I identified the priorities, never had I picked the future against the past, in fact, I kept replaying the past, dissecting it in the ‘hope’ of a better future, never had I aimed high, being so caught up in the vicious cycle I found myself in. I also realized I had made plenty of assumptions, based on my not so successful battle against the bulge and each assumption I had made was not conducive to righting the present or the future. I was in fact caught up in the past, it was eternally repeating itself like a stuck record. I had placed myself in a difficult situation. This was the honesty record I had to set straight. I had spent so much time trying to find out what made me tick [incorrectly] that I had lost the plot completely. 

Maybe even with the fact that my parents never made me scale, weight and health aware, they did place emphasis on love, love of self and those around you. Slowly the light in my dim outlook came on. The foundation of love started to trump the shadows I kept chasing. I realized that if I had that as my foundation, I could and would get out of any difficulty [thank you Mom and Dad]. J. Sidlow Baxter wrote in Awake My Heart; 

What is the difference between an obstacle and adversity? Our attitude towards it. Every opportunity has a difficulty and every difficulty has an opportunity.

I realized that I had seen everything as a difficulty, as an obstacle and with it came PLENTY of adversity. Needless to say, my attitude with regards to it was not the greatest. In fact, I really BELIEVED that I was dealt a shocking hand of cards and such was my fate. I made the decision to see no further difficulties, only opportunities, I realized what was weighing me down when it came to my weight was MYSELF, my thoughts, my belief system… Working with so many individuals on their individual journeys I also realized I was NOT THE ONLY ONE. We all seem to reach for the answers outside of ourselves. We look for what is weighing us down in our external environments, we dwell on it, we embrace it, never to put it down, never to draw that really important ‘line in the sand’ to start afresh and focus on your current day and thereby rebuild a better tomorrow. I am sure you have all heard about burning the dietary wagon, AKA giving up on getting rid of unwanted fat? After we realize we have gained an excessive amount of weight, we decide to do something about the weight and around that time, [of course!] our bestest friend decides to have a birthday slap bang in the middle of our journey to wellness. We promise ourselves we will be good until we are offered that first glass of red wine and then we completely forget that we are on diet. By the next morning, we have literally thrown the diet manual out the window and decided to GIVE UP. So doing, we perpetuate the downward spiral and find ourselves clawing our way out of it a couple of months later. This is atypical of NEVER drawing the line in the sand. Once you take control back and NOT allow life to bully you into submission, no friends birthday will be the cause of your weight gain, in fact NOTHING will drive you to that every again because for once you KNOW, that you KNOW that regardless of where you are with regards to your girth size, you are taking each day as it comes, having a better day seeing only opportunities, allowing today to flow into tomorrow, ANOTHER GOOD DAY until you have rewired the outcomes of your tomorrows in such a way that nothing of today could possibly negatively impact the outcome of tomorrow. This may seem a simple narrative, it may seem of no great consequence, trust me, IT IS.  

How do we say no thank you to the birthday cake?
How do we say no thank you to the birthday cake?

Have you ever sat down for a cup of coffee with a friend only to find out that all and everything seems to be going wrong in their lives, that one ‘thing’ led to another and another? The entire conversation dwells in the space of doom and gloom, there seems no way out, ever heard the saying ‘history repeats itself’? As a doting friend we tend to empathetically give advise, solace to this dear friend and their struggles, sadly we add to the negative energy and sooner than later the stew of emotions weighs heavily to the negative side of the scale. Soon after the fateful cup of tea, a follow-up call opens new bad news and so it goes on. No line has been drawn. We have helped perpetuate the past into the future and our friend sharing has done the same.  

So how do we change what is weighing us down? It is this simple. Make the decision to draw that line in the sand. The change may not happen immediately, or the next day, or the next month, but that line is a conscious awareness that becomes the anchor on every day. Sooner than later, the tide starts to turn, IF WE ALLOW IT if our focus is on the opportunities of change that DO EXIST. No matter the situation you find yourself in, delving into the past and massive amounts of self-reflection and introspection are NOT ENOUGH, pause there for a short while ONLY. It is all about that one decision daily as you wake up; that today, is a good day, that you are the grateful victor of this day and definitely the luckiest person alive. Get rid of the blame game and be knowledgeable of the fact that you set the pace, your acceptance of a positive day before it starts sets the pace for the day and the day to follow. The seemingly offensive chokehold life has over you slowly dissipates, doors open and the universe conspires to make EVERYTHING BETTER, LIGHTER, including the weight that is weighing you down.

10 Truths that may change your life?

10 Truths that may change your life?

Ever wished you had a magic wand at your disposal? That somehow you could just say the right words to make magic happen? These are 10 truths, given some time in YOUR life, may make a difference!

Will it make a difference in my FINANCES, I get asked… Maybe I reply, would it improve my RELATIONSHIPS, possibly is my answer, and will it make me HEALTHIER, leaner more vibrant? So many questions when I make the suggestion to use 10 simple YET PROFOUND sentences, one a day, that could make your INSIDE a little better on the OUTSIDE.

Where do these 10 truths coming from, who thought of them and why should I pay attention you may be asking? Like all good things in life, it has a history. These 10 truths are based on a book dear to me, an inspiring author and the impactful words he put to paper, back in 1968. The book is ‘The Greatest Salesman in the World‘ by Og Mandino from which the greatest 10 truths, referred to as scrolls by the author, will be shared.

Firstly do not let the title sway you off course, it was dedicated to W Clement Stone, who by all counts was the greatest salesman (who if you like a little history is connected to and inspired Napoleon Hill who wrote one of the most read books on the planet; Think & Grow Rich – currently at 9th position worldwide, if you haven’t read it… oh dear).

Top 10 most read books in the world.
Top 10 most read books in the world.

This is a different understanding of how to achieve success no matter if you apply it to FINANCES, RELATIONSHIPS or HEALTH. Regardless of it being written in 1968, it is as relevant now as it was then. Great minds from many moons back still have an impact now.

What shifted my understanding of this book, and if you have not read it, do take the time to do so, was how the scrolls, the 10 truths CAN APPLY TO ANYTHING in life. All that is required is a little bit of imagination. The basic 10 truths as written by the great Og Mandino will be presented below, then use a bit of imagination on how to apply it to current focus areas in your life that may need a little bit of TLC. I will give you a general understanding and example of how to apply it and I will stay the course throughout the 10 truths for a better understanding, I have used ‘going on diet’ as the focus area.

I would like to add, each and every scroll in this gem of a book,
ever word,
as is,
as written, is brilliant and can be used verbatim… But if like me, you are not a salesman, it may feel, this said with respect, a bit disconnected when you say “I am the greatest salesman” daily, so never fear, replace words to suit your needs, it could be “I am the greatest 100m athlete“, make it relevant to you.

Now, long live the words that were written by Og Mandino, let’s embrace them and give them a new texture and life based on applicability to our lives today… Start by reading the book start to finish… Now this may take a while as part of the process is taking each of these TRUTHS (referred to as scrolls in the book) and reading each of them for 30 days, so basically just over 10 months of reading. If you would like an overview, it can be read in an afternoon, but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…

The 10 truths, the scrolls that will transform your life!

Each ‘scroll’ 1 to 10, the 10 truths, will be listed below, a suggested question will be asked based on the scroll/truth, your mind will attempt to find the answer, yes, I want your brain and subconscious to really get involved in transforming your life. I then highlight a favorite passage, one which I feel is relevant regardless of the year we find ourselves in – that being said, I trust that the little passages will motivate you to pick up this book and READ IT! I share my opinion on the passage and would love to hear yours too!

10 Truths can be transformational if you allow it to be.
10 Truths can be transformational if you allow it to be.

My suggestion is to do as following:

  • read the scroll/truth out loud with ENTHUSIASM,
  • ask yourself the question related to it. – You may ask WHY? Your brain will speed ahead looking for the answer and work relentlessly to find that answer 24/7 – as with these scrolls, finding the answers could be life-changing in a positive way.

NOTE: The main action is the replacement of the worlds ‘greatest salesman’, I have made use of diet as the reframing. Let us begin.

Truth 1
“The Scroll Marked I”
“Today I begin a new life” – Could be: Today I begin a new life focussed on my diet success.

Question yourself: Why do I begin a new life today and every day [succeeding on my diet]?

Excerpt: “I will commence my journey unencumbered with either the weight of unnecessary knowledge or the handicap of meaningless experience. Nature already has supplied me with knowledge and instinct far greater than any beast in the forest and the value of experience is overrated, usually by old men who nod wisely and speak stupidly.”

Is this not a truth, each an every day we wake up, some with a fantastic morning routine, others with yesterday’s chaos still on their minds. If you wake up and declare that you are beginning a new life today does that not open up a world of possibilities for you?

As you wake up, start your day off with saying ‘thank you’, thank you for a beautiful day, for a family, for a home to live in, for an awesome cup of coffee – you can find SOMETHING to say thank you for, even if it is just breathing. By starting each day as if it is a new life, the positive internal energies CAN escape and lay the foundation to a massively successful day.

Then my chosen excerpt for Scroll I lays close to my heart as it is based on our inborn intuitive ability. That KNOWINGNESS, that natural instinct applied to every thought and action we have, that goes beyond any other living form. This allows us to make decisions and act without “the weight of unnecessary knowledge or the handicap of meaningless experience“. Often we do our best PURELY driven by instinct, NOT desire, NOT passion, just pure RAW INSTINCT.

Maybe you are starting a new diet, job, relationship, can you imagine the internal strength you will feel if you say with enthusiasm, TODAY, I begin a NEW diet/job/relationship!!! But say it with unbridled emotion, let it go sit on your heart center, on your chest, let it bring tears to your eyes, one simple sentence could invoke joy, which can lead to action and eventually success.

Truth 2
“The Scroll Marked II”
“I will greet this day with love in my heart” – Could be, I will greet this day with love in my heart and a positive mental attitude about my diet.

Question yourself: Why will I greet this day with love in my heart [staying positive about my diet along the way]?

Excerpt: “And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkle my brow, bring a smile to my lips, and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened”

Have you ever, without a moment’s hesitation given a stranger the biggest sincerest smile you have? Have you felt how oddly good it feels WITHIN? And have you noticed that generally the stranger cannot help BUT to smile back? Now, add to that, the thought of I Love You… Og Mandino gives the perfect recipe to giving love to others AND TO YOURSELF! I can literally hear my inner goddess squealing with glee as I perform the action above. In need of healing? Tried of affirmations? Saying them till you go blue in the face? Start by loving yourself first, try this out, you may just be surprised… and hands down, my favorite scroll, for without love, how do we do anything?

Truth 3
“The Scroll Marked III”
“I will persist until I succeed” – Could be, I will persist until I succeed on my diet to better health.

Question yourself: Why will I persist [on my diet] until I succeed?

Excerpt: “The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies unless I turn the corner. Always will I take another step. If there is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.”

Truth? There is always a journey associated. We tend to see the gold medal winners and think how great it would be to be them? They have gone through their trials and tribulations, hard work, sweat and tears for that one moment of wearing the gold medal. It only comes down to that persistence, no matter where on your journey you may be, persistence is always required. Somebody may ask how to be persistent, how to carry on? I see it like this, if you are passionate about what you have tackled, be it a diet or a job, if you have an absolute desire, you will stay persistent by finding inspired dissatisfaction, something which keeps you moving forward! If not, you may be on the wrong journey…

Truth 4
“The Scroll Marked IV”
“I am nature’s greatest miracle” – Could be, I am nature’s greatest miracle and will be supported on my journey.

Question yourself: Why am I natures greatest miracle [receiving such amazing support on my journey]?

Excerpt: “I can accomplish far more than I have, and I will, for why should the miracle which produced me end with my birth? Why can I not extend that miracle to my deeds of today?”

I have read many a book and never have I been confronted with a sentence that holds as much TRUTH as this is. I spend time dissecting why we as a human race some seem complacent about where they are and where they are going, that living life is a process of following A – Z. This Og Mandino sentence alone says we should be reaching for more, accomplishing more, purely based on the fact that we are ALL walking MIRACLES. Now I am not saying we need to chase for more, as I do believe by just BEING we are achieving, we are tuning into our existing energies, collaborating with ‘all that is’ to create our miracles tiny as they may be (I mean, breathing can be fairly complicated if you look into the science as we know it). If we all had to realize the miracles we were, what would be possible? I for sure feel nothing will be impossible if that scroll/truth was a sentence our children were taught at school.

Truth 5
“The Scroll Marked V”
“I will live this day as if it is my last” – Could be, I will live this day as if it is my last need for a diet ever again!

Question yourself: Why do I live this day as if it is my last [need for a diet every again]?

Excerpt: “This day I will make the best day of my life. This day I will drink every minute to its full. I will savor its taste and give thanks. I will maketh every hour count and each minute I will trade only for some of value.”

Being present is one of the greatest virtues to have.

I sit engrossed in a story my daughter shares, valuing every bit of detail from the words she utters to the expression on her face as the story unfolds, for I KNOW, in an instant that ‘time’ is lost, history… as she rushes off on a new adventure.
PAUSE for crying out loud,
take it in,
feel the energy of the moment,
for it is MORE THAN WORDS or actions, it is time passing us by, NEVER to return again.

Nurture a sense of appreciation, a beingness, a presence that stretches time.

Life is now, it cannot exist in the past and it has no definite future. Only now. Make it count. Eckhart Tolle explains it beautifully in his book “The Power of Now” if you feel the need to get to grips with NOW read it.

Stretch time, it IS POSSIBLE

Truth 6
“The Scroll Marked VI”
“Today I will be the master of my emotions” – Could be, Today, I will be the master of my emotions as I have made perfect nourishment choices, keeping my body and mind balanced.

Question yourself: Why will I master my emotions [and have perfect nourishment keeping my body and mind in balance]?

Excerpt: “Each day, when I awaken, I will follow this plan of battle before I am captured by the forces of sadness, self-pity and failure-
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
if I feel incompetent I will remember past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.”

There is always something BETTER, brighter, more positive to reach for, something or someone to hold close, a better habit, a better thought, something to be GRATEFUL for. I work on the process of ‘WHAT IF UP‘, the UP being a positive step up from whatever crisis or event faces me. I may be facing a stressful meeting, feeling in my gut that it will possibly be tough to face a person, I immediately say ‘what if this is the best conversation ever had!?’ as an example, immediately my energy is better and chances are I DO have the BEST conversation ever.

Truth 7
“The Scroll Marked VII”
“I will laugh at the world” – Could be, I will laugh at the world today as I am in control of my health.

Question yourself: Why will I laugh at the world [and be in control of my health today]?

Excerpt: “Henceforth I will cultivate the habit of laughter. I will smile and my digestion will improve; I will chuckle and my burdens will be lightened; I will laugh and my life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life and now it is mine.

What is in a smile and a laugh? Good health spreads from that smile and laugh downwards in your body and outwards, it permeates every cell and microorganism of your being. Yes, when I read this scroll/truth, I may have first thought that it is not necessarily polite to laugh at the world, and then I got it… Besides the feel-good endorphins it releases, it protects your heart health and builds your immunity… all that is found in a good laugh! Read up on the need for a good laugh – I am all sorts of serious so this was a benefit for me in more ways than just a smile.

Truth 8
“The Scroll Marked VIII”
“Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold” – Could be, Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold for I now have the energy!

Question yourself: Why will I multiply my value a hundredfold today [with amazing energy]?

Excerpt: “Today I will surpass every action which I performed yesterday. I will climb today’s mountain to the utmost of my ability yet tomorrow I will climb higher than today, and the next will be higher than tomorrow. To surpass the deeds of others is unimportant; to surpass my own deeds is all.”

Our only true competition in life is ourselves. If we live a life of expression and reach to be the perfect expression, a human being on planet earth (which by the way is exactly as we were at birth), then all we need to be concerned about is when we look into a mirror, being able to love who you see, when we get into bed at night, being able to close our eyes and go to sleep at peace and with ease. We are our only competition, there is only one of us on planet earth and only we as individuals can be the best of what we can be. It becomes OUR CHOICE, after all, life does not happen TO US, but FOR US.

Truth 9
“The Scroll Marked IX”
“I will act now” – Could be, I will act now as I am worth it.

Question yourself: Why will I act now [with the knowledge that I am worth it]?

Excerpt: “I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of mind. Lest I act I will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights.”

Faith can move a mountain, but don’t forget to bring a spade. Can this be seen as not having faith? I don’t think so. I believe life is a good game of tennis, firstly you need to show up at the court, have a partner, a game plan, ability, conviction, and a desire to have fun. Then as you serve your ball to your partner they are not going to throw a banana back at you, chances are they will return the SAME tennis ball back to you or there will be no game to play. Life kinda works that way too. By acting NOW a certain sense of spirit, an energy attaches to the action and a lot can be accomplished.

Truth 10
“The Scroll Marked X”
“Today I will pray for guidance” – Could be; Today I will pray for guidance on my journey to better health.

Question yourself: Why will I pray for guidance today [as I journey to better health]?

Excerpt: “The guidance I seek may come, or the guidance I seek may not come, but are not both of these an answer?”

Now there is a beautiful prayer at the end of this book in Scroll 10 or the final of the 10 TRUTHS. The basics of it are to pray for guidance. Now, you may meditate instead of prayer, either way, that quiet time can be soul nurturing and I find it a perfect time to listen to the messages being sent to me. GUIDANCE, the word, is used frequently alongside assurance and encouragement. Each of us, on our personal life journeys, will experience an advantage along the way if guidance is received. You may have to pray, meditate or just soundboard with a close friend, mentor or coach. In whichever way you find success, DO IT.

This book, these scrolls, the 10 Truths of life, if taken not only as some whimsical self-development process but taken to heart and integrated into your everyday life, can be impactful. I am eternally grateful to a man like Og Mandino who shared these beautiful words as they truly have had an impact on my life.

The opposite of dis|ease is only EASE.

The opposite of dis|ease is only EASE.

I have had the pleasure of a fairly deep conversation not just once but three times about how we as individuals reach for more and cope doing it. My thought process always centered around achieving absolute ‘EASE’ in my life.

Exactly 7 years ago, if you asked me what it was I wanted, most likely I would have focused on world travel, success, lots of money, big houses and flashy cars. I am now absolutely sure that my journey in life prepared me to get to the point of focusing purely on ‘ease’ – I realized that when I spent time un – eased, it lead to dis|ease, and the route I followed, had everything to do with it.


There exists absolute gratitude within me for getting to this point in my life. Some people may say that my desire or ambition has been cramped, well, I can say, I am now actively busy with setting up a training project which I am passionate about, I blog daily – a conversation I enjoy even if it is only with myself, work on my nutritional business, and have time with my 2 beautiful children.

For me that sounds close to fantastic, but the realization is that there is still a lot more work to be done to enable complete ease in my life.

2 Decisions made

This ease within my life was one of my conversations I had this week, we spoke of how to cope with the demands of daily life, how NOT to get anxious or worried. Firstly, make a promise to yourself to refrain from making any decisions based on fear or worry, as this changes from decisions made as a result of fear and worry about being chased by fear and worry. Secondly, prevent yourself from taking control of EVERYTHING that comes your way, sometimes you really need to let things GO AND FOLLOW YOUR GUT. If you are passionate about what you do, (there are few people my age who are fortunate to have such a blessing) then the bling and the dollars will be downstream. I have ALWAYS believed that.

If we allow our emotions to dwarf our intellect, our heart to rule our heads just for a little bit, the universe conspires to align success for you. That and a little bit of positive attitude and self-belief works wonders, a tool I subscribe to I mentioned in a previous blog regarding a positive mental diet: https://youinsideout.org/everything-and-more-not-just-enough/.

The tough part is this. We choose a journey within our greater journey, we walk it, determined to make money, to get the shiny car, (specifically a Mustang ’69, black, beautiful all road domineering car)… slowly we start becoming UNeasy, not as driven, based on the continuous work for money mentality we find ourselves in.

“Even if you win the rat race, you still a rat”

-Robert Kiyosaki

Then we convince ourselves that THIS IS THE ONLY WAY, KEEP GOING, DON’T GIVE UP! Before we know it, we end up close to 60 with a retirement plan that is not sufficient, a possible dis | ease or 2 lurking within our bodies due to stress and poor lifestyle and start wondering about that passion project we forgot about when we took the fork in the road on our journey. And to put the final nail in the coffin, we convince ourselves that we are ‘lucky‘ to have lived such a full and expressive life with our wonderful families, after all, there are people starving all over the world. – Close to broke, not being able to retire, and little to no time spent with our nearest and dearest, we cop out.

I say, live your bliss, be at EASE, make a little less money, not live in the biggest house for now, trust me if you chase love, joy, peace, fulfillment, ease and all those uplifting feelings, THE REST WILL FOLLOW! I assume that many will tell me to sniff the roses, and I DO THANK YOU, I am 100% knowledgeable of the blessings in every day and what i have to be grateful for as MANY are not as fortunate. My first 20 years of working life was a shocker when it came to smelling any roses in fact it was a bit of a stencher, and if I have learnt something from it and something which I pass on to any child who has time with me it is this.

My take on us and the simple life

  1. Be selfish, satisfy yourself first, for if you do , you WILL learn to serve many with a full cup of your own,
  2. Be a perfect expression of God’s/Universe/Source Energys breath on this planet earth as you were born perfect, made perfect by perfect to live perfect,
  3. Finally, live in ease – it is a BIG word packed in a small space, for if you live in ease and have gratitude; say thank you, you are most likely following your bliss and life is good.
When passion and desire collide

Friendship, oxygen for life.

Friendship, oxygen for life.

If you have one good friend, you are fortunate, if you have 2 or more, you are truly blessed.

Spending time with a close friend this evening and having a heart to heart conversation allowed me such perspective on not just my life but on the importance of having a great friendship. Maslow has his hierarchy of needs with the basic physiological needs first and foremost, social needs came in at 3rd place. It is clear he had a thorough understanding of friendship for today I am truly grateful for the friends I have.

Taking into consideration and understanding that God truly made friends to apologize for the family you may have, places the importance of friendship into context. There are just certain things you CANNOT say to family, but you CAN say to friends. If they are GREAT friends they will tell you straight up if you may be demented, they may be blatantly honest and you will STILL BE FRIENDS the next day.


So what makes a great friend and what is a friend actually? After my gratitude for the time I spent chatting with my friend I actually looked it up to check, what does make a good friend and came across an inspiring way of looking at friends, I have included my comments in square brackets and referenced the article so you can read more if it does interest you:

Forgiveness is important because everyone makes mistakes. Rather than turning your back on a friend who has hurt you, talk about your pain. If this person is a real friend, he or she will apologize.” [I agree 500%, I have seen friends walk away from each other and bemoan the separation forever. Why do that!!!?]

Reliability is a cornerstone of good friendship. Knowing that you can call on someone who will be there for you, and you know has your back, is empowering and a great comfort.” [My friends know they can call any time. They also make it clear to me that I can call them.]

If you want to have a friend, learn to be a friend. Giving what you want to get is the best way to show someone how to be your friend. People generally like us because we like them.” [If it is a oneway relationship, it ain’t a relationship]

Envy will kill a friendship, and so will jealousy. Your friend may have everything you think you want, but if you are green with envy, your friend will sense that something’s out of sync in your relationship.So count your blessings, which should include having a friend who inspires you to achieve your goals.” [Empathy – yes, this one I need to replace. Have empathy for each other, feel their feelings to understand their choices and decisions. I tend to steer away from negativity and envy should not exist in good friendships. I have a friend who is incredibly fortunate in life in certain areas and I ONLY wish her the best. The way it should be.]

Negativity is the antithesis of friendship. No friendship is going to be perfect all of the time, but keep the bad vibes away; they can only undermine the good thing you’ve got going.” [Amen]

Deep discussions are a treasure of friendship. Having a friend who won’t judge you can make your life better. Letting out your feelings with a trusted ally is good therapy.” [Good friends act as soundboards, they will give you subjective and objective opinions and generally lift these opinions exactly when you need it.]

Sharing your feelings and being able to listen are important parts of any good relationship. For some reason, women seem to be better at this than men, so guys, let’s be better buddies to each other.”

Happiness can come from knowing you have good people in your life. If you don’t have a family of your own, having your friends as family is a true privilege.” [I do believe, happiness is an inside job, but having a good friend makes it that much easier!]

Independence is an important part of good friendships. Your friend, no matter how close he or she may be, can’t be there for you every minute; almost no one can. That would make for an unhealthy dependency; friendship needs to be a two-way street.”

People from your past may be more than just someone you once knew. For several reasons, it’s easier to feel close to people you have known for a long time. There is trust there, as well as the knowledge of how someone behaves under a variety of situations. Old friends are reliable, and most of the time, they make us feel a little safer.”

The following is the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201108/10-ways-make-and-be-great-friend

So what was special about my conversation? Let me summarize, as friends do, we caught up regarding our lives, what’s happening, and how well things are going. At this point I shared my dilemma, within an instant we had an in depth discussion, pros, cons, directions ahead, what are the possibilities, what should be done and what the Universe is teaching me. By the end of the conversation, we had booked exercise time for tomorrow, a 6 week plan ahead for exercise, possible business opportunity, a trip to the Northern Lights in Norway was verbally booked for next year, yes, it was decided to travel bi-yearly and we debated the Universes wisdom and involvement in it all… In around and hour, my life became a little more meaningful, a little fuller, a little more constructed and a little less too.

This is what a good friendship is about. Making it great is up to each of us.

Let IT be born!

Let IT be born!

YOUinsideOUT is for you.

You, Inside Out, started in thought and action in 2011, BORN and driven by a desire to have a positive impact on physical and mental health and wellness, this included people we had the blessing of working with and myself personally.

A little bit about me… yes yes, I know, there IS an About us section, but this IS the first blog, and YOU don’t have a clue who I am…

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” – Anais Nin

Have you ever taken a road and realized that even though the scenery was AMAZING, the company was great, the car was handling soooo well on the road and that your driving was effortless that MAYBE, just MAYBE, you were driving in the wrong direction?  Born at the wrong time maybe? Herein lies the analogy of my life.  I left school, studied Landscape Architecture at Uni, worked, opened a couple of my own businesses, got married, had children (x2 and beautiful they are!) and all was peachy, as planned… or was it?

Fast track a couple of years and the following comes my way, (of course I did collaborate with the Universe to ensure the occurrence and direction my life was taking at this time – even though I only realised that later… why did no one bother to let me in on this???)

Timeline events…

  • I crack my skull falling off a horse named Kelvin (he and the Universe were in cahoots)
  • I relocated
  • I got divorced
  • I lost both my parents 9 months apart
  • I lost my existing stream of income – basically I was jobless

And this was in a period of 7 years – did you notice the domino logo?

So in this hurricane of events my passion for mental and physical (and soul) health emerged, my desire to connect both of these with a spiritual aspect which until prior to the 7 years was ‘non-existent’ – what possessed me!?

EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING, is an outward expression of our inward being.  I now speak and live this understanding, trust me some days I wish I had remained naïve as I start facing brutal realities that I am the co-creator of my reality.

The result is this website, which is a blog and a web page, for the courses and coaching I am involved in when it comes to health and wellness.

My credentials (do we still need those these days?), I was born in a little town of Oudtshoorn in South Africa, (where you find a lot of ostriches and great wine!) moved to the Free State where I received my schooling. Then I moved up to Pretoria where I studied Landscape Architecture. I am an amazing landscape architect, well, I was, this has helped me scrutinize and assess life holistically, it has helped me see that bigger picture and PLAN! I have been in the Health and Wellness industry for since 2011 and am a certified Fatloss Coach (‘they‘ call it weight loss but REALLY I am only interested in fat loss!) Reiki practitioner, Hypnotherapist, Life and Mindfulness Coach with an integrative approach of Energy Healing, the undeniable Chakras and all of consciousness.  Oh, I am a MOM too – Massively-Overemotional-Mentor to 2 beautiful children, this alone makes me a near expert on life :).

Besides this, I am here to serve YOU. Please feel free to comment, contact, interact, ZOOM, train, be coached with me. This is a growing site and I look forward to our journey working with YOU from the INSIDE OUT.

Tamantha Williams

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