Possibly the toughest, yet worthiest of all thoughts and/or actions you can perform, forgiveness; there is no greater source of self-preservation (besides maybe breathing).
Have you ever said or thought “I will never forgive you!“? Have you ever thought what the impact of that is on YOU physically, mentally and emotionally? We live in a world of never forgive, never forget and only those with who truly realize the impact of the impasse realize that this is not the wisest route to follow. No forgiveness is a bitter poison that gets dished for a guest, but at the end of the day, only gets consumed by you. Cut the strings, BURN THE SHIPS, do not be the puppet in anybody’s show. FORGIVE AND LET GO.
It was Jim Rohn who said that the winds of change blow on all of us, it is how we set our sails that determine OUR outcome. The relevance of this is far-reaching, we tend to gauge our success by the external influences that impact us and ‘force’ us to take to a certain direction, if we comply we would surely reach success in finances, relationships and health? Not necessarily, only by implementing ‘I am the Captain of my own ship‘ do we breed an internal compass point that guides us to success.
How does FORGIVENESS impact us? Or rather, how does lack of forgiveness impact us?
LET US DIG DEEP
Historically, Émile Coué, the French mind theorist instigated autosuggestion of ‘day by day in every way…’ to have an impact on a person living positively. The basics of this were that you believe this mentally and emotionally, thus allowing your subconscious to take on
Now let us take it a step further, Mitch Horowitz summed it up beautifully in his book ‘” target=”_blank”>The Miracle Club‘ where he discusses the Golden Rule, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you‘, this, the Golden Rule, came about in the late seventeenth-century England. He quotes a detailed section from Napoleon Hill’s brilliant book, The Miracle Club” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener” aria-label=”Law of Success (opens in a new tab)”>Law of Success, that relates to this accepted ‘Rule’, I will quote the same section to avoid misunderstanding of any sort. This will ensure clarity on the impact of a lack of forgiveness.
Now, I am one of those individuals that have always embraced forgiveness, but I am aware of some who hold tightly to the unforgivenesses false feel of justice and on reading this, my veins ran cold based on the understanding of its validity in life as we know it. This passage particularly made me pause and reflect for quite some time…
““Your thoughts of others are registered in your subconscious mind through the principle of autosuggestion,” Hill wrote, “thereby building your own character in exact duplicate.” Hence: “You must ‘think of others as you wish them to think of you.’ The law upon which the Golden Rule is based begins affecting you, for good or evil, the moment you release a thought.”
It is worth considering Hill’s point of view at length:
“If all your acts toward others, and even your thoughts of others, are registered in your subconscious mind, through the principle of autosuggestion, thereby building your own character in exact duplicate of your thoughts and acts, can you not see how important it is to guard those acts and thoughts?
We are now in the very heart of the real reason for doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, for it is obvious that whatever we do unto others we do unto ourselves.
Stated in another way, every act and every thought you release modifies your own character in exact conformity with the nature of the act or thought, and your character is a sort of center of magnetic attraction, which attracts to you the people and conditions that harmonize with it. You cannot indulge in an act toward another person without having first created the nature of that act in your own thought, and you cannot release a thought without planting the sum and substance and nature of it in your own subconscious mind, there to become a part and parcel of your own character.
Grasp this simple principle and you will understand why you cannot afford to hate or envy another person. You will also understand why you cannot afford to strike back, in kind, at those who do you an injustice. Likewise, you will understand the injunction, “Return good for evil.”“
Euuuowch… Mitch Horowitz in his BRILLIANTLY written book follows up with this to close this debate;
“You become what you do not forgive.”
For the first time in my life, I looked past my already clear understanding of what unforgiveness can do to health, how it can break you down mentally by clinging on to it, here
HOW IS FORGIVENESS GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALTH?
YOU WILL LIVE LONGER AND HAVE A STRONG IMMUNITY
Yup, you heard right, if you love your life and have a desire to live to at least 100 years of age, start actively forgiving, not just those who may have done you harm but yourself too!
Think about this, the poison chalice of unforgiveness being held by you is BEING HELD BY YOU… Now you may say… but I don’t forgive that event/person/process for they do NOT deserve forgiveness then keep this in mind;
LIFE does not happen TO YOU, it DOES happen FOR YOU… practice forgiveness, and move forward.
As a matter of scientific interest, let us have a look at a Japanese author and pseudoscientist,
Now there may be a strong argument that some of us do know some miserable characters who are reaching ripe old ages, that may be, but they are miserable and have lived miserable lives for a reason…
YOUR ADRENAL GLAND WILL BREATH A SIGH OF RELIEVE
Your adrenal gland deals with stress, any anger held without release promotes and motivates fight or flight in your body which in turn activates your adrenal gland. This affects your blood pressure and naturally your heart rate. The minute you forgive, the burden is removed off your shoulders, note how you CAN BREATH EASY when you hand it over and let it go!
YOUR HEART WILL HUG YOU
The process of holding on to anger and never practicing forgiveness only leads to stress and anxiety, as I said above, your blood pressure increases, your heart HAS TO WORK HARDER, after all, it loves you and must make sure you are HAPPY. If you forgive others AND yourself your heart feels the love, your soul can peacefully smile. The only one that may be impacted is your resident ego.
There is such power in forgiveness when it comes to mental health not just your own but again, those around you. You may have heard of:
“I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you“
Officially known as Ho’oponopono, this was developed by the Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, he used this prayerful mantra to cure an entire ward of criminally insane patients. This was done without ever meeting any of them or spending a moment in the same room. He reviewed each of the patients’ files, and then he healed them by healing himself using the statement above.
Using a forgiveness statement like this can be life-changing, don’t say it just once, try and say it over and over for a few minutes on end and feel positive energy lift within. The detail on Ho’oponopono will be shared in a blog post shortly.
Another way of dealing with forgiveness
Basically, forgiveness can:
Lead to a stronger immune system
Result in good heart health
Improve mental health
Result in reduced anxiety and stress
It can lower blood pressure
Lead to healthier relationships
Result in fewer depression symptoms
And my favorite, improved self-esteem
HOW DO I FORGIVE THAT *** ???
This is a journey worth taking, it moves you from holding on to suffering, anger, hurt, rejection to a place that allows you to have an improved life. I am certain that there are serious deeds in need of forgiveness in peoples lives, and some will say, how do you even get to that place of forgiveness? I would like to answer with a question, and it may seem oversimplified, but do ponder for a moment;
How does holding on to all of that pain serve you?
I am of the realization that NOTHING I held on to, thinking that it would serve me in some way, actually did.
Take careful small steps forward, decide to truly release yourself and the culprit from that negative energy. Start small, it may have been someone who cut you off in traffic, start there. Every day grow in your ability of forgiveness. If you need support, get it!
Now comes the tough part, remember I mentioned, life happens for you, not to you? Move from the zone of the victim into being the hero of your own story – then live the newly improved revised story. BURN THE SHIPS! Decide not to revisit or return to those emotions that never served you in the first place.
AFRAID OF FORGIVENESS?
Many people are afraid of the word ‘forgive’, they think that after that they and the culprit would need to be best buds. Not so, the word forgive means to hand it over, to let go of those feelings, to create a void which could be filled with only positive feelings if we allow it. In FACT… the joy of forgiveness is forever giving, frequently we find ourselves stuck in finances, relationships or health issues, with a little investigation and mindfulness, we may find we ONLY NEED TO FORGIVE a situation or a person closely linked to the situation. It is at this time I work with ‘I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I LOVE YOU‘ and I say it with emotional DEPTH and ENTHUSIASM.
FORGIVENESS IN ACTION
I came across an extremely helpful understanding of how to go about forgiveness including a decree to use in speaking forgiveness in my life. The helpful information I came across was shared by Catherine Ponder, it is simple and meaningful.
When forgiving, “sit for half an hour every day and mentally forgive every one that you are out of harmony with, feel badly toward or are concerned about. If you have accused anyone of injustice, if you have discussed anyone unkindly, if you have criticized or gossiped about anyone… mentally ask their forgiveness. Subconsciously, they will respond. In like manner, if you have accused yourself of failure or mistakes, forgive yourself. ”
She explains that when we hold resentment towards a situation or person/s, we are bound to that person/s or condition by “an emotional link that is stronger than steel. The practice of forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and be free“. It makes sense, think about when you hold on to resentment, the mood that goes with it, IT IS HEAVY?!
By emotionally releasing the situation or condition we need to keep in mind that we “never lose anything that still belongs to you by divine right, through the act of emotional release. Instead, you make way for your good to manifest in grander ways than ever before.” That is, we create a vacuum, a void, for something greater and better in our lives.
To finish this off,
“All that has offended me, I forgive,
Within and without, I forgive,
Things past, things present and things future, I forgive,
I forgive positively everyone and everything that could possibly need forgiveness of the past or present,
I forgive absolutely everyone,
They are free now and I am free too.
All things are cleared up between us now and forever.
I am in right relationships with all people and all situations now.
I fully and freely forgive you. I lose you and let you go to your good quickly and in peace. All is cleared up between us now and forever. Just as you fully and freely forgive me, lose me and let me go to my good quickly and in peace. All is cleared up between us now and forever.
I forgive myself.“
Horowitz, Mitch. The Law of Success” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener” aria-label=”The Miracle Club (opens in a new tab)”>The Miracle Club: How Thoughts Become Reality (pp. 86-87). Inner Traditions/Bear & Company. Kindle Edition.