Aging can be daunting, especially when at age 18 most think that 40-year-olds are making exit plans from THIS LIFE…
This was me, I really thought my parents were on the verge of senior citizen classification when they hit 40… why though. I have spent some time thinking about this and realized that the word OLD is attached by default to DECREPIT, SICKLINESS, DISEASE, LACK LUSTRE, WRINKLES, oh my word I could go on and on… and that attachment is what society has ingrained in us from the moment we were taught to speak.
Then we go through life, foot on the pedal to get to our 20’s, by the time we get there we hit the handbrake and say “lordy, can we just stay here!??“. So we journey through life, slightly obsessed that age is not manifesting fast enough and then too fast, kinda like hitting the brake and petrol at the same time!
Well, I was fortunate enough to pick up a gem of a book on aging, may I say, a different take. Written many years back by a VERY young-looking (hehehehe) Deepak Chopra. The book was Ageless Body, Timeless Mind and I think I picked it up due to being attracted to the ageless body part of the title, now that would appeal to just about anyone, young or old.
Something which stuck in my mind (and there is plenty that can from this gem!!!) was the following:
“Only the present moment exists; past and future are mental projections. If you can free yourself of these projections, trying neither to relive the past nor to control the future, a space is opened for a completely new experience – the experience of ageless body and timeless mind.”
YES… YESSSSSS… YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
I have always said that I have a desire for only ONE SUPERPOWER… that of stretching time. With this in my mind, I can now be that superhero with zero sense of goofiness.
Back to the seriousness of this. I would like to let all Millenials know that life does not end at 30, or 40, or 60 for that matter. I families worried about the fact that 28-year-olds don’t have their life sorted out and I immediately wonder if THEY DO??? I ALSO see 18-year-olds thinking they DONT NEED to sort their life out and prefer the idea of wandering around like a lost stinky in the perfume factory. Where is the balance? Well simply put, life is not about growing UP, rather moving FORWARD. We are, after all, energy beings, and if we are not on the go, chanced are we are in reverse.
There seems to be the consensus that the Millenials seem to be a little ‘lost’ if they have not reached CEO status by 23 or at a push for the slow ones at 28, what so they can spend their 30’s and 40’s nose to the grindstone missing out on life? Possibly even in jobs which they THOUGHT they loved, doing what they ASSUMED would be significant. Now yes… before I look like a sour ‘old’ [sic] bag who is giving Millenials a free pass, I would like to come to my defense… When we embrace the present, without worry about the future, and regrets about the past, chances are we will be able to go healthily (no ulcers or clapped-out thyroid and liver to deal with) into the future. I am not saying do NOTHING. But DO do something which encompasses YOUR BLISS!
If we spent our time pursuing bliss for ourselves, do you think we would be worried about age? And do you think maybe just maybe out gratifying existence would most likely lead to more chance of fantastic health? In fact, we may look FAR YOUNGER than any person sitting for 16 hours a day in a bank. YES, we all need jobs, I ain’t bashing that. I AM BASHING the notion that we just need to earn money. What we NEED is to find our bliss FIRST and then money WILL be made, hands over fist – IF that is your thing.
So, if by chance, you feel you are on the back foot, or age is scaring the living life out of you, fear not, there are many that lived to ripe old ages, those who only made their millions at 70, published a book, became a doctor… learn to stretch time, be present, embrace the fact that a life lived well is better than not having lived at all.
Close the door on aging, in today’s world it is close to a myth if you pay attention to loving yourself, forgiving daily, sharing gratitude and random acts of kindness, and most of all, FINDING and LIVING YOUR BLISS.
Ever attempted to ‘search’ for a fat loss diet on Google? Here are 3 easy tips on what-to-do and what-not-to-do.
We all reach critical milestones in our lives, where the desire to shed some unrequired bodily heat pads comes up. Fat loss diet to the rescue! At this very moment, we tend to ponder, for a BRIEF moment, on what ‘diet’ will work for me THIS TIME? ‘Ponder’ and ‘brief’ to be taken literally please, for I have found (and this includes myself) that the thought process could take anything form a split second (as we stare at ourselves in a mirror) to the time it takes us to force ourselves into a size 12 when for that matter it should be a size 16… It may be at this point where our ego blatantly fires at us; “You fat, you need to lose weight!” and the first thing we reach for in our minds is; what is the ‘latest diet’? And where would that be found? GOOGLE… the house of all-knowing, wisdom and clarity to help enforce the correct fat loss diet choice… after all, our friends may be tired of our dieting sprees and giving us advice which we DON’T FOLLOW…
Let me explain the quagmire of the Google toilet and why this could be the exact action we should NOT TAKE.
The number of results that came up when I typed into Google; “Fat loss diet” on this very day was ‘About 281 000 000 results (0,51 seconds)’ and if we wanted to lose weight (regardless if it is water, bone, muscle or tissue) we could use a different broad search, which I did, I typed “Weight loss” and got ‘About 900 000 000 results (0,70 seconds)’.
Now yes, one of the tips I can give is to be specific about your search, decide if you want to find a diet which is keto, or juicing, or paleo before searching, common sense right? Maybe not so, you may be ‘that individual’ that prayerfully takes on Google hoping, wishing, wanting ‘it’ to find the right answer for you as you are PAST KNOWING WHAT TO DO!? If this sounds right, you are truly a seasoned dieter and would not have been put off by the zeros following 281 or 900 in your search on Google.
So, I have decided to help all the prayerful types out there, desperate to have direction in diet choices, with a couple of TIPS:
1. DO PAUSE, TAKE STOCK BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISION
Reflect for a moment on yourself. AND get out a journal – preferably old fashioned handwritten!!! Answer these questions by WRITING DOWN THE ANSWERS, why? Trust me, when you are a week into your diet and weekend arrives you will need to remind yourself why you started in the first place… Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers:
Has this been a gradual or sudden increase in weight? If the rush for a fat loss diet seems extreme, assess if the weight gain was sudden, it may be a health issue that needs investigating, or it may be emotions like stress, anger, grief that need resolving (for once you have forced your body to lose the fat the stress may help you put it all back on again). It may be a lack of sleep, which can result in weight gain.
What diet will fit my lifestyle? PLEASE refrain from overhauling your lifestyle to fit your diet, rather allow your diet to fit your lifestyle as best possible. I have seen people swear on a loved one (oh dear!!) that NOW is the time that their lifestyle WILL change!! 6 months down the line they are back to their previous lifestyle, this is like trying to change your fingerprint! A good example is if you LOVE a good healthy hearty breakfast and generally scale down on food intake through the day then why chose a diet that requires fasting at breakfast as the guideline?
What is my current health status? Yes, it has a lot to do with it. If for example, you are obese, could you take on a diet that requires vast amounts of exercise daily that may damage joints? If you lack a gallbladder, would you take on a high-fat diet without consulting a doctor? What about hormones? If you are diabetic would you be limited by a diet in which you may only eat 3 times a day causing blood sugar to be thrown out?
Why do I want to COMMIT to a diet now? Truly reflect, is it for yourself, your family, your son or daughter, for health improvement, for fitting into clothes, for confidence? WRITE YOUR REASONS DOWN to remind yourself why you stopped eating junk, why a week down the line when a friend offers you a glass of wine you can say no confidently, without the feeling of deprivation. You NEED to remind yourself! Carry this journal with you so when you do start your diet you can use it as a reminder – trust me you will need it. If you decide to skip this step, do think for a moment, how has NOT writing this down worked out for you in the past?
Identify your GOOD and BAD habits. These are critical. Sometimes your weight gain can purely be you have stopped moving, you may be sitting for long stretches and all you need to really do (instead of scouring Google) is start moving again. Make the list. Focus on keeping good habits in place and decide which of the bad habits you would like to boot. DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF AND CRITICIZE! My only advice is to take them on one at a time, do not try to go on diet and stop smoking simultaneously… something or someone may suffer as a result. Look, this is YOUR journey of life, only you have the choice as to how you want to live it, if it is a vibrantly healthy life you want to commit to, ditch the bad habits one at a time. The place to start; acknowledge them by writing them down and commit to a timeline that allows you to scratch them off the list.
How and what do I LIKE to eat? This is a VERY IMPORTANT question. And, please be reasonable, you cannot expect to lose weight on a junk food diet, if that is your favorite food, which got you in a tiss when forcing on the size 12’s in the first place.
It is human to stick to what is familiar, go and read up on the basics of the Pareto principle, we generally follow the same habits that cause the results we get, we eat the same food type (20% of the choice available) 80% of the time. So why on earth will you incorporate any choices in a diet which is not familiar to your everyday choices? A good example: let us say you love fruit, it currently forms part of your daily intake, the diet you chose eliminates fruit and allows it once a week, how will you cope? Some say dieting requires SACRIFICE – that is pure deprivation in my mind and the ‘skinny bitch’ (Yup, she is there) in me screams retribution when limitations are imposed – rightly so. Truly, there are enough choices (millions in fact) that will fit your current lifestyle. There will be limitations based on dietary guidelines to ensure you lose weight but none of these limitations should cause you tohate waking up in the morning! Life is too short to add further stress to it, dieting is NOT punishment.
2. DO YOUR RESEARCH – CONFIDENTLY
After answering the questions mentioned in item 1 above, now it is time to open up Google and type in your relevant and SPECIFIC diet search.
You have spent the time understanding and clarifying why and how you need to diet besides the size 12’s. Now, after assessing that you do need to be on a diet, you can search Google for example, with the following self-determined parameters;
*limited exercise requirements (time may be an issue),
*balanced intake (gallbladder is missing and you generally eat from all food groups),
*no juicing and shakes please (I have to chew),
you can confidently start searching. You may, for example, enter the following into the search line:
Yes, it is still a massive amount to wade through, but you are now making an empowered choice, you have truly taken the power back, it is now YOU who set the parameters, these parameters can now be used to make your choice confidently, you know exactly what you LIKE and DISLIKE, what you can do to make a success of dieting rather than failing miserably.
3. YOU WERE BORN ALL KNOWING, MADE PERFECT BY PERFECT
Possibly my favorite thought process. My very best friend always says to me, “If you are fat, you know EXACTLY WHY you are fat, it is intuitive, you just KNOW“. And why is that? Well, I believe we are made perfect by perfect and the more we tune into our inner guidance system, the more chance we have of knowing EXACTLY the cause of our weight gain. So too, the more we tune in and draw close to our internal guidance system the more energy and love will flow UNCONDITIONALLY, not only to others but to OURSELVES!
Surprisingly, sometimes (most often) it is NOT JUST food or LACK OF EXERCISING or HEALTH issues that cause weight gain – sometimes it is purely our blocks in energy and love. Broad statement but let me explain.
Have you ever been in a stressful situation or an emotionally abusive situation or in an unloving situation? Oftentimes food is used as a protective measure OR to fill a void, for we have not necessarily learned how to love ourselves into wholeness. Sounds like oversimplification right? Not for me, the lack we feel in not ‘being enough‘ is soul-destroying, a void is created and nature abhors a vacuum, she politely helps by filling it; food being the obvious choice. What mother has not offered a child a sweetie when the tears are flowing (yes, I know, moms these days know that is the incorrect approach, in my day however it was not so)?.
Besides lacking love, the energy blocks can hurt even more… created by unmet expectations, these little traumas are impactful. Ever needed to go for an injection and in the situation you find yourself flinching? That is an energy block explained right there… that hold, that expectation of the worst impact. Now the sad thing is, the more we hold on to that flinch status, the more we expect the worst – nothing changes and acceptance steps in. It now becomes familiar and then a reality, an energy block. How to deal with it? There are many ways, and sometimes it is a hit and miss along your personal life journey. Deepak Chopra is someone who addresses this and has an interesting article for you to start with – I will be blogging on this at some stage too. The other option is to work with your own personal ‘inner talk’ in self healing, try this link out with easy to use subliminals playing in the back ground, making use of science to do some of the work for you.
So, before you fly on to Google and search what is the best diet, decide to start loving yourself more. HOW is always a good question as many people would find that ‘selfish’, ‘self-absorbed’ or ‘egotistical’, I would say that you can only share from your own cup if it has something ‘in it’. In fact, do you recall (and I would really like to remind you!) the first time you were ‘in love’, maybe besotted with an individual, felt butterflies and confessed undying love to anyone? Or do you recall having and holding your children after they were born and feeling that ABSOLUTE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE flow through you?
YOU NEEDED NOTHING ELSE… let me say that again…
YOU NEEDED NOTHING ELSE!
My advice would be as follows, 2 tasks daily (in conjunction with your diet) to be done on your own and if you have a blessing called family, include them in one or both of the items for sure.
Firstly, start a gratitude diary – daily, write down 3 NEW gratitudes. Yes, do not repeat the same ones every day, LOOK carefully at your life, at you and note the blessings. This is something the family can get involved in. En route to school I ask both my children to verbalise their 3 gratitudes for the day and they love it. Eventually they remind me! If this seems like effort, never letting go of fat is more strenuous. Sometimes just embracing love and gratitude in your life can assist you in releasing fat!
Secondly, start FORGIVING, every day. Who must you forgive? Well, EVERYBODY, past present and future… really give this one some thought. When I started doing this, I felt there was not much forgiving to do, but there is. Look for one forgiveness a day and include YOURSELF every day. You forgive PEOPLE and SITUATIONS past present and future – remove the bonds that exist, send them/it off to their good quickly and in peace. (Do you have to agree, approve, like the person or situation by forgiving them? Not at all, but LET THEM GO). Forgive YOURSELF! And mean it. Now some may say that they are only kind to themselves and do not need forgiveness. Maybe so, sometimes however, when we ‘listen’ closely we will hear the negative thoughts we shower on ourselves daily – do forgive yourself regardless. You never know, you may have really hacked off someone in the traffic today!
What on earth has this got to do with our search on Google? Well, it allows us to approach a diet choice holistically, body, mind and soul. The reason why we are ONCE AGAIN searching Google for diets, IS because we possibly didn’t soul search before!!?
To end this off, a thought, I realize that sometimes we are so busy looking for the forest that we miss the trees. People worldwide are so busy searching for fat loss and weight loss, quick fixes, anything to ‘change’ [sic] ourselves that we sometimes miss the crucks of the issue. I believe that one of the primary reasons for weight gain IS self-esteem issues, lack of self-love, etc. Should we not rather start there? I decided to research it, the volume returned on the search term self-esteem: ‘About 64 700 000 results (0,64 seconds)’. This is close to 4 times fewer results than ‘fat loss’, maybe our Google search for diets should start with ‘how to love me’, embracing a healthier mind and then we can go about embracing a healthier body?
“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”- Yogi Berra
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