It has been a week of many discussions and health checks on my clients, each with their own goal in mind when it comes to better health and a smaller waistline. Their primary concern, “IT [- the journey -] is NOT going fast enough AND why bother, chances are I will have to do this again and again!”
Within any journey to health motivation can be a tall ask when the scale does not move and you have had a tough week, the only question left is do you continue or throw in the towel? Our frustration with our journeys clouds our perceptions and emotions and success seems to be unattainable. My job is to concentrate the focus of my client in on the present, lead them to right-mindednessON their journey so that they NEVER have to take on this process again.
Success by any definition is attaining what you set your mind to, taking on achievement after achievement to reach what you see as an accomplishment to be proud of. I find many cross my threshold with absolute conviction of the success at the ‘end’ of their journey. Little do most realize that the ‘end’ is only the beginning and what stands in the way of NOW and THEN is only their PERCEPTION of what is true to them – RIGHT-MINDEDNESS. With every step forward there is a tendency to look back, assess where they came from and bemoan the journey that lies ahead. With this constant reflection on past and continual anxiety and or excitement about the future they miss the instant in which they find themselves in, being present. Now I know there is much talk about mindfulness but I would like more to focus on individual RIGHT MINDEDNESS than mindfulness. At the end of the day we are NOT our bodies, our minds and souls may reside in them temporarily but our sense of worth and value is not based on our bodies and how they look. As I coach people in looking great, feeling healthier and feeling confident every step of the way, this may seem like a contradiction as I DO help them reach their weight goals which ARE about WHAT they look like in the mirror, how they feel and the clothes they adorn. BUT... there is more and always is. No matter the weight we lose and the goals we reach, if we are not dealing with a change of perception and acknowledging our perfection [yes, you heard me right, no matter the size, we are all perfect beings in the present], chances exist that we will need to walk this journey again and again.
Right mindedness leads to success and keeping that success in place. We are beings of patterns, we get up, do our ablutions, brush our teeth, (some get on the scale, just to check…) get dressed, go to work, have family time and sleep, this is day in and day out, familiar patterns. Now we take on a regulated diet, get a coach involved to assist us and then the pattern changes slightly. We lose our weight, reach our goals and step straight back into the old FAMILIAR patterns once again. If right-mindedness is not incorporated into the journey and LEARNT, stepping back into the old pattern may also mean stepping back into the ‘previous’ body – the familiar.
I promised myself after losing 40kgs that that would be the last time I would see that fat, I was officially rid of it… 7 years later I was 40kgs plus more… What had happened? Besides the usual excuses of ill health, stress, anxiety, emotional eating, bad food choices, what had REALLY HAPPENED? I spent a year assessing the situation, trying different regulated diets and only got FATTER AND FRUSTRATED. In this time I realized that it all started with the mind – something I was aware of but never gave much true thought to, and with the understanding that what we think of manifested in our bodies I understood that I really need to pay attention and or change my thoughts. So, surely IT, success will be easy, change my thoughts… not that easy. We all hear this, change how you think and life gets better, then getting better with being present, our actions get better, results get better and just like that your waist gets skinny. If being healthy and skinny was as easy as sticking to a regulated diet and thinking good thoughts we would ALL be ‘there’.
This, the health journey, the weight loss journey is unpacking of the ‘YOU’ you think you are. This is the critical element; if we start by thinking of ourselves as a failure in the weight and health department we start off with a lack of faith in our bodies, in a sense, punishing and blaming ‘IT‘, externalizing the challenge we face, we feel our bodies have ‘let us down’. Punishing our bodies with a fearful thought of failure is never a good place to start. It reinforces littleness within which is so off the mark. And by the way, THIS is the THOUGHT we are supposed to ‘change‘… Let me help you step back, just one step, which will take away any thought of littleness, of failure or of fear – do try it. It will take awareness, it will take nurturing of YOUR right-mindedness, but it CAN happen in an instant if you accept it in an instant.
START HERE… YOU are a wholly powerful perfect human being, beautiful, valuable, loved, forgiven, made perfect by perfect, guiltless, fearless, magnificent, EVERYTHING and MORE… yes, absolute perfection. Start there. From this point onwards know your GREATNESS, allow this light to flicker and grow into a flame, thoughts WILL CHANGE and NOTHING will stop you on your journey. You WILL get the patience to climb every mountain you face, let go of the trivialities that have zero consequences and grow in faith that you are more than capable. We cannot control our thoughts, but if the foundation is shifted to our advantage, thoughts change. This journey IS about discovering all of this within, changing the familiar pattern only changes in changing the foundation on which it rests, not the food we take in, not the company we keep, the self-help books we read, the guru coaches we listen to. Only in starting with the KNOWLEDGE, the TRUTH of WHAT WE ARE do we manage to breed a new thought process. I have on my journey been told to underpin a thought with a strong emotion to add weight to it, to convince my subconscious of my desire for change, the only challenge is the EGO steps in and says “yeah right!“, for example, I would say “I see myself in absolute fantastic health and LOVE the energy I now have in every day!!!“, my ego steps in and whispers with a touch of sarcasm “Sure, you can’t even get out of bed in the morning… hows this working for you???!“. This ego, ‘SHE’ is not my friend and only by dissociating with IT and embracing the truth of WHO I AM do I manage to place it in the naughty corner and KEEP IT THERE. Believing 100% that I AM allows me to BE I AM. With this in mind, the journey becomes the discovery that allows me as an individual to not only succeed at improving health and weight but also in KEEPING IT OFF.
Are you tired of being on diet off diet, ever wondered WHY? Why do you end up back where you started, why the feeling of an eternal struggle? Tired of blaming diets, your boss, your husband or wife and the lack of exercise and time? Losing motivation on your journey, getting frustrated? Start IT differently. It is but one step backward that facilitates a complete shift of foundation which then DOES DRIVE your thoughts, which in turn drives your desire to reach your goal and maintenance thereof. Start with right-mindedness. Flip the switch.
Have you ever felt that you were graciously given more fat cells than your BFF? And if so why? And even when you manage to get rid of the flab, it seems to magically appear again!
We believe that today everyone is getting fatter due to lack of exercise, possibly eating junk including high volumes of sugar-laden treats. But the question remains what is making us fatter and is it possible that some people are just blessed when it comes to being skinny… do they have less fat cells, are they just predisposed to ‘being’ skinny?
The sad fact is that it has been shown that all that happens to fat cells in our bodies is they increase. From birth to adulthood our fat cell number increases stabilizing around adulthood… Now we may work extremely had at ‘burning fat’ through exercise and limited calories but what actually happens to these little critters? Fat cells or as they are fondly scientifically referred to, adipocytes are basically variable. Their size is expanding and contracting based on the volume of donuts finding their way into our pie hole… More donuts, more weight gain, and fewer donuts, possibly weight loss. Now like any cell in your body, fat cells do go through their life span and do die, which got me excited as that may mean I don’t HAVE to replace them, not so, our body loves us and is willingly producing replacement fat cells just to ensure we never run out…
But here comes the scary bit, yes, with fat we can count on there being some part which makes us go “OH dear!“. Whether you have had liposuction, or bariatric surgery or gone on a very low-calorie diet, your fat cells are either removed or shrink in the process, BUT fill out again to get back to the previous ‘balance’ of fat as they were previously, or new fat cells are produced to get all back in equilibrium, hence most people gain the weight back within a year.
Let me not stop the bad news there, there are studies that show that when the do-gooders go on diet on a consistent basis going through a cycle of up and down in weight, there is an INCREASE in the number of FAT CELLS with weight regain making it EVEN TOUGHER to keep weight down and maintain weight loss… my shattered nerves… a double-edged sword of our body working for us and against us at the same time… “But how does that work?” you may cry out in frustration!!? Well, it has been shown that our fat kindly secretes proteins and hormones (yes – fat is like an organ in your body, it HAS A JOB) and these have an impact on energy metabolism. Now go on a diet, or lipo or whatever you decide to do to fight fat and these fat cells do reduce in size, with that there is a train of thought that says that now these fat cells, though slimmer, is in a fair amount of distress as their job may be compromised… red flags go up and they send masses of signals to increase our appetite and leading from that FAT STORAGE!!!! Now, of course, this is not an absolute fact but a hypothesis, but it is enough to make any dieter weak at the knees…. and possibly lead to eating for the 1st team rugby squad again…
What are we to do? We eat ourselves into a bigger frame, clothes become tight and diet becomes our middle name, no matter for how long but with absolute determination we take on a regulated plan in food and exercise or go to the extreme of bariatric surgery. But armed with this knowledge of our fat cells being kind enough to ensure we get back to where we were we HAVE to question weight loss! Basically, we could be working against our natural state of being which gets us back to the beginning over and over again, fighting fat on a cycle of on diet off diet with every journey assisting us in adding more to the stockpile residing on our hips…
In the perfect world, we would say, “Just don’t get fat!!” Yeah right, what happens if we are ALREADY FAT!!!?? There is an old saying that ‘Knowledge is power’, yes, true, but for me applied knowledge is power if we know that yo-yo diets are a massive problem based on our bodies’ drive to an important equilibrium then STOP these. Pick a plan and STICK TO IT. Then make damn sure you do NOT gain the weight back… So the answer lies NOT in the weight loss but rather in MAINTENANCE. Simply put, to prevent reaching Heffalump status we HAVE TO make sure we are aware of every morsel that crosses our lips FOREVER. Get to the weight and measurements you desire and guard it carefully, note not obsessively but carefully. Learn to eat intelligently once the weight is gone and be diligent about reigning in on wrong choices continuously. I have found with many of my clients that they maintain quite well if they have learned to apply 80% to 20% weeks. We all know weekends can be ‘WEAKends’ when it comes to consumption, set a rule that for 2 days of a week you are lenient but for the rest of the week stick too good practice when it comes to food and exercise. So let us say you picked a regulated diet plan that only allows lots of water, black coffee and tea and no cooldrinks for your allowed fluid intake… keep this rule for 5 days out of 7, if you have adapted to it, consider doing so for life. We drink way too many of our calories! If your plan to lose weight included NO refined white starches then keep this rule applicable for your week and let it go over weekends if needs be. You WILL control weight by just applying some basic rules once you are done losing the weight, I am not saying stay strict forever, or not have a life, BUT do not go into the process of being ON DIET and OFF DIET or you will feel you need to catch up for the days of being on diet and soon you will notice the skinny jeans turning into fatty jeans again.
If you are overweight, decide on a plan of action, stick to it, get to goal and then STICK TO THAT to ensure you do not end up fatter than before!
As the world settles down after crowning the South African Springbok Rugby team World Cup Champions 2019, I reflect on the pique physical condition these titans were in as they rammed their way to the final. Solid masses of muscle found themselves locked in a scrum, then ‘pirouetted’ with ease to score tries and I was left wondering what enables a few elite sportspersons to get to that caliber of performance AND make it look easy?
Of course, being South African, I have a sense of pride for what these amazing human beings did, and like many, I cheered, screamed and gritted my teeth as the minutes of the final game ticked on, literally feeling as if I was PART of the game, exhausted by half time but ready for the next 40 minutes! United as a country we were emotionally, and at times physically (or so it felt), on the field with them. 90 minutes felt like an eternity!
Now, I am NOT by any stretch of the imagination a person prone to exercise daily, in fact, give me a book and a cup of coffee and I am extremely content. The idea of running on a field and reaching heights of agony, sweating in the process and not being able to lift my legs the next day due to the numbing pain experienced has NEVER excited me. In fact, many a friend has cried out to me, “Come and exercise! It will be fun” they said… I have never, and chances are will NEVER believe them. I know (watching paint dry) as I get stuck into the covers of a book would be my chosen alternative! Some call this lazy, I call it at Peace, with no need to chase goals or become as lithe (and amazingly sexy if I may add) as Mr. Pollard on the Rugby field. But watching that game this weekend inspired me, it felt like a call to action, with the sweet victory came the feeling of joy and elation, the feeling of being graced and blessed with the ability to jump up and down, run around like a crazy person and feel the sun on my face as I did so. That feeling was a feeling of being ALIVE, able, and yes, at Peace – oddly, the same feeling I have sitting with my nose in a book.
For the first time ever I understood the crazy activity people took on, for them, it may not be the Peace I consistently strive for but that feeling of ALIVENESS can also be PEACE! The knowledge that they are living breathing interacting thriving individuals. There is an energy in all actions which is contagious to the spirit of life. One rugby match made me realize that it was not just a physical unity of success for the team, the country and all of its people, but a spiritual oneness, a feeling of being ALIVE, of MATTERING, of PRIDE, the ability to call each and everyone a brother and a sister. There is a lot more to the pain and distress, time and effort it takes to get up and go and exercise, besides the health benefits physically and emotionally, there is the feeling of belonging, of forward movement, an acknowledgment of being one ball of energy which can expand and grow or wither and die.
I personally strive to go walking as often as possible – this is my sense of exercise and it makes me feel part of this little blue dot we find ourselves on and the universe that surrounds us. Every now and then I make sure I am shoeless to feel the energy of the earth and get rid of the energy overload within me, expelling it earthwards. It is a contemplative spacetime interval in my daily doings which I always feel blessed for having besides the time for a good book. After the #RWC2019, I understand that my walk and any other form of exercise I chose needs to be intentional, not just to keep bones strong, joints supple, to build muscle or gain health but to connect with an energy that is freely availalbe; the knowledge of being ALIVE and celebrating that!
As I deal with people daily coaching them in weight loss and health improvement, I am totally aware of the fact that some are just too large in stature to even take a walk around the block, my advice to many has been just to increase what you do daily. Start with small steps, set a timer and every time it goes off get up and take a short walk. Then when visiting a store, park your vehicle far from the entrance, climb stairs instead of using lifts, do what you must but do something to allow the blood to circulate in the body for your body to become aware of the fact that it IS alive and well. Do a little EVERY DAY!
Keep in mind that you do NOT have to slog it out in a gym or run a marathon within a month… start purely with the DESIRE for movement, the DESIRE for feeling ALIVE and interconnected with everything and everyone around you. I am also understanding of the fact that we tend to WITHDRAW from society when we gain weight. We let our EGO get in the way and FEAR JUDGEMENT so we start cocooning ourselves – trust me, I have been there, the thought of putting my expanded waistline out of the door proofed a to be a daily challenge. Start by BELIEVING that YOU are EVERYTHING AND MORE, made perfect by perfect and keep reaching for those better feeling thoughts. Better thoughts lead to better beliefs and better actions which in turn WILL lead to better results. Continuous hours of the ‘DUMBBOX‘ aka the television and watching OTHERS reach their goals fools us into believing that we are reaching ours without moving a muscle from that oh so comfortable coach position. MOVE… a little each day, THINK WELL OF YOURSELF… a little each day, tune into YOUR ALIVENESS to stay vibrant and truly alive… a little each day!
Once you get to the point of seeing and experiencing the value of movement besides the so needed circulation of blood (energy) in your body, reach a little further! Start understanding that this movement (I am not referring to hours of balls-to-the-wall exercise here!!) is helping improve your range of motions, strengthening your muscles, bones, and joints, and helping prevent memory loss – all part and parcel of being ALIVE!
At this point, you may even feel inspired to take on a more regulated exercise/movement routine for as happiness is an inside job, being inspired and motivated to LIVE is so too. You may want to look into some sort of activity to get you out of your home and interacting with the world we know. Start easy, slow and steady wins the race. For my larger clients and or those who like me were stalwarts of limited motion I advise the following as the next steps to a more active life:
It sounds simple, it is! Yet extremely powerful! This little package of dynamite helps weight loss, strengthens bones, keeps blood pressure regulated, cholesterol level improvement improves mood and of course lowers the risk of a few life-shortening diseases.
Get on a pair of comfortable shoes (critical especially if you are on the hefty side as pressure on ankles and knees means you need better cushioning on the feet), comfortable clothes and an understanding of what you are CAPABLE OF. Refrain from just pushing it to the limit, many would say do MORE, but, again, slow and steady wins the race. If you tackle this with right mindedness, you will learn to love it. Keep to 10 to 15 minutes until you feel your body CAN do more, tune in, the body is after all your learning device on this planet, do not ignore it. If you experience pain, slow down the pace or you end up with shin splints, knee issues, and hip problems. Over a period of time – which is dependent on your body and how it grows stronger which only YOU will know – increase the time period of your walks.
This CAN be intimidating, especially if the idea of getting into a cozzy and exposing the muffin tops may rain down terror in your heart. But, you may have access to a pool in the privacy of your own home or you may have zero concern about the perceptions of those who surround you – even better. Swimming is fantastic as the buoyancy of the water supports your body taking the strain off joints protecting knees, hips, and ankles! This makes motion FUN instead of a sweaty task if you THINK of it in THAT WAY.
CHINESE MARTIAL ARTS
This may seem an interesting one to include, again I am dealing here with people who are either overweight or have NEVER had the desire to exercise. This specific option is not necessarily the fighting scenes we witness on our dumb boxes but rather a physical art form of movement and relaxation being good for body and mind. An example, as there is more than one option, is Tai Chi which is a series of graceful motions, strengthening your core and balance with limited impact on joints. Besides the movements, like meditation, breathing is an important factor in most Chinese Martial Arts, with right breathing, you supply oxygen throughout your body in the correct manner – sometimes I think we have forgotten HOW to breathe correctly but this alone is vital to being alive after all!
As I watched the giants of the Springbok team clashing with the giants of the English team I had to concentrate to keep my mouth shut for fear of swallowing a fly… Again, for the first time, I understood muscle mass… I have previously found it tedious to watch as people worked out for the ‘show of’ muscle mass in gyms, in fact, one of the reasons I stopped going to gym is I could not deal with the consistent staring of muscles flaring in the mirrors – it made no sense to me. Now yes, there are the bulkers who love their bodies to be ripped and find joy in struggling to find shirts to fit their bulging arm muscles and they find perfection in this, I do take my hat off to them. BUT, on Saturday, 2nd of November 2019, in walks the titans on the rugby field, like the Vikings and the Scots of days gone by, their muscles are there for a battle, and here it is not about bloodshed (though there was some on the day of course), but as the wars of those years, this was all about winning or losing… desire, strength in muscles, alertness, prowess, the pride of each country, overall health, and fighting spirit, this was what determined who one the day. This IS the muscle I understand and LOVE! It is not just a frill that is paraded, the icing on a cake, it is FULLY FUNCTIONAL and is the means to the cause. These are the muscles I speak of in strength training, it is the motions put in place to keep muscles strong (which in any even assist in fat burning). As we age, we lose muscle mass, how do we hold on to this precious eye-popping candy? Strength training is it! Strength training with a purpose, of course, get the right input before starting a weight training program, start LIGHT!! Just as I advised in walking, slow and steady wins the race. Increase the weights over a period of time, as and when YOUR BODY SAYS YES…listen, it will tell you.
We live in a world of human economics, corporate takeovers, and technology, but don’t be fooled, the fittest (and smartest) WILL survive and THRIVE. As we saw this past weekend, there are winners and losers from all walks of life, and both are completely acceptable as those who strive for the gold are never lost. Their walk on their journey has allowed them to come ALIVE with purpose, desire, direction, pride, and a spiritual drive far greater than their physical bodies. If there is a need for motivation and inspiration in your life, first acknowledge being ALIVE and realize the 4 trillion to one chance of the fact that you ARE ALIVE blessed with gifts and capabilities beyond your WILDEST IMAGINATION, with this in mind you BECOME EVERYTHING AND MORE!
A special Thank you to the Springboks for bringing the Webb Ellis Cup back to South Africa in this Rugby World Cup 2019, you were all beyond inspirational, from Rassie Erasmus all the way through to physios who kept our boys in peak physical condition! #imstaying #strongertogether