There needs to be a point on your day when you ARE experiencing HUNGER!
This may indeed seem like a controversial statement, but do hear me out. If you are NEVER hungry like ZERO hunger, chances are you are overfed. And if you are overfed, chances are you are going to get fat.
Now, let me restate this so that my readers do not think I am asking people to get to starvation, this I am indeed not doing. But with people I have worked with I have said the following,
“if you get to bed at night and you feel that grumble in your tummy, that is ONLY a reminder to drink a glass of water, it is also a THANK YOU for sufficient nourishment for the day“.
It really means that the resources you provided have been depleted and it is time to sleep. Please note, if they were staying up for another 2 or more hours it may be a problem as then your body may definitely not have sufficient fuel.
Hunger – It is a sign.
Now I can say the same is applicable to breakfast time, I always checked if clients woke up hungry, this is usually a sign of 2 things, one positive and one sadly negative. Positive first, it means your metabolism is firing on all cylinders, GREAT NEWS for sure! Your body is ready to refuel and cannot wait for you to do just that. Whatever you do, don‘t delay or ignore these signals or it WILL stop sending these messages. The negative… you may have eaten a larger than normal portion, it may have stretched the stomach space and your body was so tired after digestion that it now needs more energy than usual, or your stomach size went up and the body is now in shock and is asking for a quick fill of the now enormous hole.
Why would I think something like this is so important? Well here’s why, and there are personal reasons and experiential. Let’s deal with experiential first, I dealt with plenty of clients who insisted on taking appetite suppressants (this didn’t last long – not after I had them for a chat). What happens in these cases is all hunger messages from stomach to brain have been blocked, you NEVER know if you are hungry – THAT IS NOT NORMAL!! What then happens is the nerve memory is shelved, archived, set out to pasture, and when you end your diet (usually you end your appetite suppressant simultaneously) your body struggles to get back to sending and receiving those signals again… you sit down for a plate of food and due to the fact that you have been on diet you feel you are entitled to a large helping of lasagne now… and soon you find you have worked your way through the entire left overs bowl and then pathetically appologise to the host and then start blaming the ‘deprivation’ diet you were on. Sound familiar? Then the whole cycle starts again, we of course gain weight AGAIN or; quick as humanly possible, we get back on appetite suppressants again and believe that this may be the only option for us!!! We all know that is not the case.
Now for my personal story. I spent 7 consecutive years on some sort of ‘dieting regime’ limiting my calories to under 1250 a day. Predominantly and for good measure much of this time daily calories did not exceed a 1000cal. You heard correctly, 7 years… now for my age, and activity levels I could have eaten 2500 calories and been healthy, but I had fallen into the trap of diet for life. Fast forward to present day, I have an archived metabolism. I do NOT get HUNGRY, hardly every, maybe at 12pm at night or when I overeat I feel hunger pains the next day. The result is I not only never get hungry but I do not know when I am fully satisfied with my intake. AND… the minute I exceed 1250cal I gain weight. Now I work specifically in a space of assisting my metabolism to heal.
Crazy story right!!? I am envious of people who can judge when they need food and not. When they are hungry or full. Metabolism is a vital part of your body functioning optimally, protect it, look after it and treat it kindly.
“We should care about it because it determines our weight. It’s going to determine our appetites, and it really determines our body fat levels as well. So if your metabolism is slower, then you’re not going to burn fuel as fast, and that’s going to cause you to store body fat. If you have a fast metabolism, that’s going to allow you to burn more energy.”
If you have one good friend, you are fortunate, if you have 2 or more, you are truly blessed.
Spending time with a close friend this evening and having a heart to heart conversation allowed me such perspective on not just my life but on the importance of having a great friendship. Maslow has his hierarchy of needs with the basic physiological needs first and foremost, social needs came in at 3rd place. It is clear he had a thorough understanding of friendship for today I am truly grateful for the friends I have.
Taking into consideration and understanding that God truly made friends to apologize for the family you may have, places the importance of friendship into context. There are just certain things you CANNOT say to family, but you CAN say to friends. If they are GREAT friends they will tell you straight up if you may be demented, they may be blatantly honest and you will STILL BE FRIENDS the next day.
So what makes a great friend and what is a friend actually? After my gratitude for the time I spent chatting with my friend I actually looked it up to check, what does make a good friend and came across an inspiring way of looking at friends, I have included my comments in square brackets and referenced the article so you can read more if it does interest you:
“Forgiveness is important because everyone makes mistakes. Rather than turning your back on a friend who has hurt you, talk about your pain. If this person is a real friend, he or she will apologize.” [I agree 500%, I have seen friends walk away from each other and bemoan the separation forever. Why do that!!!?]
“Reliability is a cornerstone of good friendship. Knowing that you can call on someone who will be there for you, and you know has your back, is empowering and a great comfort.” [My friends know they can call any time. They also make it clear to me that I can call them.]
“If you want to have a friend, learn to be a friend. Giving what you want to get is the best way to show someone how to be your friend. People generally like us because we like them.” [If it is a one–way relationship, it ain’t a relationship]
“Envy will kill a friendship, and so will jealousy. Your friend may have everything you think you want, but if you are green with envy, your friend will sense that something’s out of sync in your relationship.So count your blessings, which should include having a friend who inspires you to achieve your goals.” [Empathy – yes, this one I need to replace. Have empathy for each other, feel their feelings to understand their choices and decisions. I tend to steer away from negativity and envy should not exist in good friendships. I have a friend who is incredibly fortunate in life in certain areas and I ONLY wish her the best. The way it should be.]
“Negativity is the antithesis of friendship. No friendship is going to be perfect all of the time, but keep the bad vibes away; they can only undermine the good thing you’ve got going.” [Amen]
“Deep discussions are a treasure of friendship. Having a friend who won’t judge you can make your life better. Letting out your feelings with a trusted ally is good therapy.” [Good friends act as soundboards, they will give you subjective and objective opinions and generally lift these opinions exactly when you need it.]
“Sharing your feelings and being able to listen are important parts of any good relationship. For some reason, women seem to be better at this than men, so guys, let’s be better buddies to each other.”
“Happiness can come from knowing you have good people in your life. If you don’t have a family of your own, having your friends as family is a true privilege.” [I do believe, happiness is an inside job, but having a good friend makes it that much easier!]
“Independence is an important part of good friendships. Your friend, no matter how close he or she may be, can’t be there for you every minute; almost no one can. That would make for an unhealthy dependency; friendship needs to be a two-way street.”
“People from your past may be more than just someone you once knew. For several reasons, it’s easier to feel close to people you have known for a long time. There is trust there, as well as the knowledge of how someone behaves under a variety of situations. Old friends are reliable, and most of the time, they make us feel a little safer.”
So what was special about my conversation? Let me summarize, as friends do, we caught up regarding our lives, what’s happening, and how well things are going. At this point I shared my dilemma, within an instant we had an in depth discussion, pros, cons, directions ahead, what are the possibilities, what should be done and what the Universe is teaching me. By the end of the conversation, we had booked exercise time for tomorrow, a 6 week plan ahead for exercise, possible business opportunity, a trip to the Northern Lights in Norway was verbally booked for next year, yes, it was decided to travel bi-yearly and we debated the Universes wisdom and involvement in it all… In around and hour, my life became a little more meaningful, a little fuller, a little more constructed and a little less too.
This is what a good friendship is about. Making it great is up to each of us.
I wish for you to embrace the understanding that you are everything and more.
I remember as a child, I truly felt that love made the world go round (do check my previous post), and my greatest wish was to hear from somebody, anybody that I was everything and more… not just enough, now, I don’t think that I am strange or unusual – though some may, in fact, classify me as the unusual which I will embrace any day – I do think that being told that as an individual allows a warm fuzzy feeling to settle over your heart.
Progress a few years down the line, I read so often how self-esteem issues are primary causes of heartache and despair and I had to pause and reflect to determine if this societal outbreak was in my camp too. Quite honestly, I had my fair share of heartache and despair…
My plan of action was as follows, I slowly started taking more notice of the voice in my head and the messages I was hearing, please note I do not have split personalities, I am however investigative and am very good at being self aware when required. Now, on a daily basis I have always classified myself as optimistic, but then I paused and started listening, carefully to that inner voice… and my word, I needed a new voice! With that in mind, I set out on the “Positive Mental Diet“, a thought process discussed in great detail by people such as Neville Goddard, Brian Tracey to mention a few. If every you have been on a physical diet, I can say, that is EASY in comparison to this little puppy. I have not only done it once but a couple of times in my life, in fact I motivate many to do it as it is truly one way of not just feeling enough as an individual but everything and more.
This is the process:
Firstly: what is negative to ensure clarity? Any thought, action, or out loud verbal grunt groan complaint or gossiping is classified as negative. If you dwell, think, act on negativity such as failure, a bad smell in the air, criticism just received, envy or condemn yourself or another person, that is negative. Basically, bite your tongue, thoughts and nerve endings.
1. Go easy on yourself, first spend a couple of days, one week would be best to take note of that little inner voice, distance yourself, be honest about it and try catch yourself out, for like me, you may say, “I don’t struggle with negative thoughts, I think only highly of myself…” , do test this thought for the next week.
2. Prepare, I found placing little positive symbols everywhere helped, in my vehicle, my bathroom, my laptop, my kettle and on my fridge, place it where you move, what is interesting there is that it becomes amazing conversation starters as everyone wants to know what this is as after all, it is everywhere. Now you can explain to them how you are driving yourself past just being enough to someone who realises they are everything and more… [what self-esteem issues???]
3. The day you start on this diet, decide length of time, most people are truly courageous and start on 7 days. Wake up on your start day and utter these words FIRST: “Thank you” and “This is going to be a great day and I am the luckiest person alive today!” now just by typing that I felt AMAZING. Try saying it out loud!
4. There are some rules to these 7 days, please do not dwell on negative thoughts, you may acknowledge it but flip it over the minute it enters. Make it playful, inform your family that you are doing this and make it their objective (by the way children love this) to catch you out on a negative utterance. Oh, I forgot to mention, it is not just thoughts, it is the spoken word and actions too! Sounds impossible right?
5. If for some reason Day 1 don’t go so well, and you are ready to burn the wagon, take heart, some people don’t get past the first 5 minutes. It is however the greatest mind process you will take on in your life and worth every effort. Helpful tip: start noticing amazing things, start counting your blessing, notice the clear blue sky, the wonderful sunset, the friendly smile of a passer by, immediately the world starts behaving a bit more positively and conspires to keep good things coming your way. [If this sounds remotely like laws of the mind, it is and it helps to understand them – another topic for another day]
6. This is going to be difficult, and remember this, when we start to feel discomfort at our own thoughts, emotions out play logic by a mile, your mind WILL start advising you that you are wasting your time, it will drive you towards the negative – for old times’ sake, it may even ask you to say something mean or gossip. At this point, carry a little A6 booklet, or take out your mobile, start a Gratitude diary and put down a couple of items to be grateful for, that shuts up the negative committee in your head within a sentence or two.
7. Let us discuss another rule, if you have blundered your way through a day, and note, did not take my advice on starting a gratitude journal or put your sticky positive signs everywhere, well, no stress, you need to start again on Day 1:). You may just take my advice to heart if you reach attempt number 2.
8. You may see this as an impossible task, it may just be, but do attempt it. Get the family involved, each morning to this day, as I drive my children to school or we eat breakfast together, we share out loud 3 gratitude’s each to start our day and I immediately have a great start to my day as they have to theirs.
9. Do not attempt to control your thoughts (we make them 7 seconds before we act on them in any event) just acknowledge them and let them pass or flip them to positive thoughts. Do not attempt to control people and situations around you (or, if you do get that right, DO let me know as that would be AWESOME), remind yourself you chose what you mentally accept and if there is poor behaviour which drives you to the negative try remove yourself from the conversation or work in the space of breathing through it focusing on the positive – if you can bring out the gratitude journal.
10. Finally, keep in mind that we are energy beings, what we push out we generally attract, some people are of the mind that the best way to do this diet is to tell no one that you are doing it, if you have a great group of friends and colleagues it could be fantastic to share it with them. If however you feel challenged in your environment it may be better to keep it close to your heart. What ever your choice may be, I find that the Universe reacts to me as I react to it.
One thing I can say, this is a thought provoking journey, on completion of this, you will be at a greater peace within yourself, without the feeling of self-esteem issues, the best gift in life is to realize that you are everything and more and this can be done and helped along by the 7 day Positive Mental Diet!
A mind and person driven by love is a greater asset than one driven by ego.
This image just keeps resonating in my heart (- no pun intended as you will discover later), after placing the picture of your mind on love on Instagram, I decided it needs a blog post specifically to discuss it in a bit more detail.
As a professional I am constantly aware of how ego can get in the way, when I worked as a Landscape Architect and when I owned my own design business I was keenly aware of ego. How? Well simply stated, I watched and listened as people got in their own way limiting success, change, growth, understanding and even development of relationships.
Ego, this is an interesting character, I stated in Instagram that we need 10% of it. I do believe that that 10% allows us to personalize our character to an extent, it also allows us to reach for more, do more and be more because that 10% allows failure purely due to its disconnect from our true selves.
Mmmmmm…. let that thought sink in please. I do believe that God, Energy, Universal substance, call IT as you please, brings about perfect creation in each of us, that perfect expression of a thought, with ‘that thought’ being each of us individually. If we see wrong within ourselves, we are saying God does not create perfection. So, what happens, ego steps in and under our perfect approval decides to form opinion and to take control, with that ego, step by step, separates us from God’s energy, separates us from our personal greatness, our intended purpose when we came as a gift to our parents. The further we step away with the help of the Ego the less God has the ability to work through us, yes, I do believe He does NOTHING FOR us, but only THROUGH us if we (here ego pops up again) allow it. I had this conversation with a close friend one day, he felt that we are all less than equal and less than deserving of Gods grace. I DISAGREED with him of course 🙂 . That and that alone is ego speaking. In a mind and heart filled with love, there is little space for ego, in fact, allowing 10% space for ego is in my opinion healthy AND ENOUGH, as ego does have the habit of prompting humanity to seek greater expression and understanding.
This is something I share with my children as I make it clear to them that there is inner guidance within, a GPS, which allows us to clearly differentiate between the not so good and the great. This GPS is your heart working and intact, it kindly passes the feeling/emotion and/or message on to your gut, your gut feeling [if the healthy critters therein are predominant, your communication to brain improves – another topic for another day] then gets passed on, enlightening your brain to make the right decision or behave correctly – this is if all goes well.
I inform them that the minute there is a dis-ease in their heart, a feeling of wrongness, and that relays to their gut the only thing that can go wrong is the ego crosses paths with that message to the brain and says
“ahhhh, its ok, you can say nasty things to that person, everyone is doing it”
and in that statement from ego we can clearly feel the heartlessness. This is where mindfulness comes to play, and self-awareness, ego needs to be given the marching orders or our negative actions wreak havoc on our hearts. The science is out there, it is confirmed, this is how we operate, how we make decisions, act, and possibly cause ‘dis-ease’ within.
I do believe we need to protect our hearts, she is a sensitive lass (gents, I am using my heart as the example here), I do believe that she needs gentle care and maintenance at times (nothing that meditation, a good walk in nature, a great bottle of red wine shared cannot solve) to ensure she lives a long healthy life. What we need to keep in mind is that our hearts, according to the latest studies, transmits electromagnetic energy (EMF), which like the octopuses tentacles extends 12-15 feet beyond the body, in fact, in comparison to our brains, our heart’s energy field is 60 times larger and 5000 times more powerful than our brains EMF.
Ever heard someone say “I feltxyz WALK into the room that day!”, well science agrees with them. If there was one reason why we need to keep our hearts healthy and focus in on love, it may just be this, our electromagnetic capability. Next time you hug your spouse, loved one, child, bestest friend, make sure you are sending them love filled energy from your heart as that is what will make this world go round.
If you have a desire for more sciency understanding, this link is an interesting read with regards to EMF:
Life Rhythm as a Symphony of Oscillatory Patterns: Electromagnetic Energy and Sound Vibration Modulates Gene Expression for Biological Signaling and Healing:
At the end of your tether? Had enough of weighing food, exercise, high fat low carb, diet pills, shake it till you fake it and weight loss support groups? Well I can say many a gent and lady have crossed my doorstep with this exact frustration…
I would like to start a conversation about this, and I have lots I will be sharing on this in future but for now I want to share a thought and hope it promotes further discussion.
3 Thoughts to reflect on when reaching for a diet pill.
FIRSTLY, it is interesting that as a baby growing, you knew the exact amount of mother’s milk you required before spitting and spluttering out the excess, why is it then that you need ANYONE or ANYTHING (YES, diet pills do force certain choices) to tell you how much your body needs? [There is an answer to this and I do divulge further information in my course I am preparing now… for now let’s discuss it].
SECONDLY, we enter the blame game, I can honestly say, most diets (‘most’ – I am speaking specifically about those with science backing, may I add), most diets do work if you work it. Even the basic healthy daily diet nourishes and sustains when balanced and wholesome. Diet pills are the easiest to blame of course…
THIRDLY, could it be that we tend to ‘take on’ a diet, be it a shake, a diet pill, or a trainer so that WE DONT HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR NOT SUCCEEDING? After all it is that much easier to say “Oh, that diet doesn’t work for me – those diet pills are placebo’s” than it is to say that by week 3 you were either bored stiff of chocolate shake or the diet pill made you attack your spouse. Yes, we never say “Oh boy did I cheat on that diet!!”
I am going to say this, there are many reasons why people reach for the next best diet or latest fad in how to drop fat in 1 day flat, but in all the problem diets or ‘doesn’t work diets’ or been there got the T shirt diets there is really ONLY one comanality, that would be OURSELVES. If every single diet ‘TRY’ – my pet peeve word by the way – is a failure, then it may not be the diets that are the problem?
You see, it is MUCH EASIER to blame a broken tool for the job not being done than it is to say “yeah, it was me, I just didn’t get it right”. I know this as I have done this before. Guilty.
The question is why is this so, what is it about lack of responsibility which feeds the billion dollar industry so flatly? I personally think we have the Neanderthal to partially thank. I believe our extremely old internal drive says:
firstly, you cannot fail at anything or you will get kicked out of the tribe – you weakling you,
secondly if you don’t attempt the latest fad diet you are not part of the tribe – oh dear cold nights and no food which will lead to Die-t , so failing or non compliance puts you in danger of rebuttal… and possibly death, if you lived back then. We are more sheep than we would like to admit, after all, safety is in numbers.
But let’s not leave it there. It is a massive conversation and I am hoping someone somewhere for once goes… oh my word let me get this right, no more quick fixes, no more diet pills, it is about me! Yes YOU inside OUT.
“Health is a relationship between you and your body.”
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